Under Her Nose
by Assthorn
Summary: Kel has been ordered to take a vacation and at her welcome back party a very... interesting occurence takes place. Rating for sexual stuff. COMPLETE
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't know any of it. And just to warn you this is complete and utter fluff. There may be a plot somewhere along the lines if you care enough to dig for it. But really, I'm just writing this for my own entertainment and because you don't see this pairing very often. So enjoy, all flames will be used to roast marshmallows while I laugh, and laugh, and laugh at the stupidity of the flame-writer (If you are going to flame leave your contact info otherwise I will mock you as a coward).

Under Her Nose

Chapter One

"Kel! So you really are back!" Raoul bellowed, grabbing Kel into a hug before she had a chance to turn around.

"I've got new rooms." She squeaked. "In the knight's wing. I can't breath."

Raoul grinned and let her go. "When I heard they actually ordered you to come back for a vacation I thought they were joking."

"They weren't." Kel said glumly. "_Somebody_ said I'd been working too hard and should take a break. You wouldn't happen to know who that is, would you my lord? Because when I find out I intend to use my all of my new free time to find many, many ways to make him regret it."

"Err..." Raoul edged away. "Well, if I find out who I'll be certain to- hey! Dom! Kel's back!"

Dom walked over, smiling lazily. "I know." He said, sitting down with his tray. Kel's lay forgotten on the table. "I helped her unpack."

"So why didn't anyone tell me?" Raoul grumbled, taking a seat.

"Oh, we were going to. We need your rooms for a welcome back party." Dom said as he smeared some honey on a slice of bread.

"What?" Raoul asked, eyebrow raised.

"Well, Kel's rooms, though they're really grand and all are too small, and I live in a barracks, and you're rooms are huge anyway." Dom said. "So it's the obvious choice. What do you say? Meet you there are seven?"

"I suppose so." Raoul said, getting to his feet. "I'd better go then." He saluted Kel and Dom and walked off.

As Raoul went down the hall he mentally checked off everything he'd need. Fruit, tea, juice... How many people would be coming? There would be Kel and Dom, any of Kel's friends who were at the palace and maybe their former knight-masters. There wouldn't be many of them, though, since most knights were still cleaning up the border. Lady Yukimi would probably make an appearance. Then there were the men of the own- also on a much needed vacation- would drop by. What about Buri? No, Buri and her company of Riders wouldn't be back until next week.

Raoul unlocked the door to his suit and stepped inside, making a face. Before he worried about fruit and drinks he'd have to clean up. Ever since a servant had moved one of his maps, upsetting the stones that represented armies he hadn't let them in except to bring hot water.

Raoul got to work cleaning, and when that was (finally) done he went back to the kitchen to make arrangements for food. He then took a stroll over to the practice courts to see if any of his men were actually doing something useful during their time off. A few were there, but they were talking more than training. Kel was also present, atop her massive Peachblossom and hitting impossibly difficult targets with a lance. The men of the King's Own cheered her on.

"So," Raoul sidled up to the soldiers. "Getting lots of work done, I see?"

"Errr..." One of the men said. "Yes, milord. We're just taking a break."

"Good," Said Raoul. "If you find yourself with nothing to do I the hostlers could always use help mucking out the stables.

"No, sir, we're plenty busy." Insisted a second man.

"Splendid." Raoul left them to it, an evil smile on his face. There was nothing better than harassing his men on their time off.

Toward the evening people started to drift into Raoul's rooms. First came Kel and Dom, accompanied by a few of Dom's friends and lady Yuki. Raoul greeted them all happily and hoped they wouldn't notice the smell of the cleaning powder he'd used on everything that morning.

"So, Kel, enjoying your time off?" Raoul asked cheerfully.

Kel glared at him. "Not really." She grumbled. "What if something happens while I'm gone?"

Raoul rolled his eyes. "Kel, half of the second company is there. That little town is almost as well protected as the palace."

"Better," Dom said. "The second company really know what they're about. They'll be fine, mother." He nudged Kel.

Raoul was interested to see that something suspiciously like a blush spread over Kel's cheeks before he covered it up with her yamani mask.

"Well," Raoul said. "I do believe I'll go get myself some tea." He left, winking at Kel which made her put on an even denser, lumpier lump face.

So, Kel and Dom, he thought, getting himself some tea. They'll do well together. Although Dom didn't know it he was up for a promotion and could be taking command of a company of the Own fairly soon, which would allow him to marry. Not that he could imagine Kel married, but he knew they were a good match. If nothing else they both loved teasing Neal. Raoul glanced around but didn't see Dom's cousin. Raoul couldn't remember where he was, but if he wasn't here he probably wasn't at the palace.

As the hour grew late people said their goodbyes until only Kel and Raoul were left, duking it out on the chess board.

"Check-mate!" Kel said triumphantly, then looked up. "Where'd everyone go?"

"Home," Raoul said, collecting up the pieces. "You know, time was no one could beat me."

"I'll have you out of the saddle next," Kel said, her eyes twinkling.

"If that happens, my dear, I may have to kill you." Raoul put away the pieces and got to his feet, stretching.

"I suppose I should be going to bed." She said yawning as she got to her feet.

Raoul nodded, and began a circuit of the room, putting out candles. When all but one were out he returned to the fireplace where Kel was standing, light and shadows dancing over her face.

He squeezed her shoulder. "They'll be all right," He said, guessing what was on Kel's mind.

"I know." She turned to look at him. "I just need to take my mind off it."

"Mm," Raoul said, noticing, not for the first time that Kel really was an attractive girl. Without really thinking he took her hand and traced the tapestry of griffin scars that decorated them. "I could have killed that thing, you know, but you wouldn't of liked that." He clasped her hands, fingers interlaced. Raoul moved his gaze to Kel's face to see her features carefully composed as she waited to see what happened next.

Raoul wasn't quite sure of what he was going to himself until his lips had somehow found their way to Kel's. She didn't pull away, or even act remotely surprised. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers in his hair.

What are you doing? Part of his mind screamed at him. She's your squire... was your squire.

She's kissing back, another part of his brain countered. She wouldn't be doing that if she didn't like it.

No, his logical mind told him. You can't do this. With great difficulty and even greater reluctance he pulled away. "Kel, I-" He was cut off when Kel stood on her toes to kiss him.

Well, I tried. He thought as he wrapped his arms around her, feeling her muscles ripple under his hands. When he prodded her lips with his tongue she opened her mouth eagerly allowing him access and then she-

Where in the dark God's realm had she learned _that?_

Raoul stifled a moan and held her so tight against him he was surprised she could breath. There, she was doing it again! This time when Raoul pulled away he held Kel's head between his hands so she wouldn't be able to try any funny business.

"Kel," He stammered, looking down at her flushed face. Gods help him, he wanted nothing more than to carry her off to his bedchamber and keep her there until he'd had his fill. No! He told himself. She's so young! "I, I think we should stop because- hey, I'm talking here!" She had turned her head in his hand and had slipped his thumb into her mouth. Raoul would never have guessed she could be such a temptress.

She looked up at him innocently, releasing his thumb.

"I... I mean, you should, err, really a man your own age, and uh, I shouldn't... force you and..."

"Force me?" She asked, stepping away from Raoul. His hands fell to his sides. "Do you think for one minute I would let anybody do anything to me that I didn't want?"

"Err..." She had a point there. During the progress someone had tried to cop a feel from her, and the next thing he knew he was in the tilting yard, flat on his back apologising profusely for the smudge on her honour. "But with older me, I mean, uh..." Her former maid had really done a good job fitting her clothes. He tunic hugged her every curve and- "Are you sure?" He blurted, tearing his eyes away from her.

"Yes," She said quietly. "But apparently you're not." She finger combed her hair on the way to the door. "Which is funny because you started this whole thing." She looked back, her face blank. The only hint that she had been engaged in a game of tonsil tilting was that her lips were still slightly red and swollen. "When you make up your mind please let me know."

The door clicked shut behind her, leaving Raoul alone with in a very hard situation- and that wasn't just his decision about Kel.

Do I want her? He thought. Of course he did, that wasn't the question. She also seemed to want him. Where had this come from? He searched his memory, trying to think if there had ever been hints that this would happen. After several seconds he gave that up. Who cares how it started? What was important now was how it was going to end. The thought of telling Kel that he'd just "changed his mind" made his stomach knot. He couldn't do that to her, not after she'd kissed him back so warmly. And he should make up his mind soon- it wasn't fair to leave her waiting.

In the morning, he promised himself. In the morning I'll tell her I still need- I mean want her.


	2. Chapter Two

Hiya Everyone, I'm back with an update. Whee. Thank you so much for your reviews!

To the people who said that this would never happen because Buri and Raoul married, well, to them I say that Alanna never went to the convent either. It's fanfiction, little details like that get changed :P

To the people who say they don't like the pairing… sorry. I wanted to keep it a surprise so I didn't say who the pairing was in the summery.

To the people who say I rocked, thanks a lot basks in the glory you guys are awesome too.

And finally, to the person who said I sucked, thank you for providing the means for me to make smores for my lovely reviewers gives everyone smores

Enough of my rambling, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter Two

Raoul banged on Kel's door a second time and waited impatiently it to open.

"'Scuse me, milord, are you looking for her ladyship Sir Keladry?" A servant who had been dusting the ornate doorframes asked.

Raoul grunted and affirmative.

"She left a few minutes ago, to the practise courts I reckon, she had 'er sword with her."

"Thanks," Raoul said, flipping a coin to the servant as he strode off down the hall. He should have known Kel wouldn't be sitting around brooding. She'd be taking her frustrations out on whoever was foolish enough to spar with her.

Sure enough, there she was beating the tar out of a tall wooden post used for sword practise. A few squires and some soldiers looked on with awe and fear as woodchips rhythmically flew off of the post. One of them held a bag of ice to his eye- apparently someone had been silly enough to fight her.

"Um, Kel?" He said, coming up behind her.

She jumped and spun around. "What?"

"About that... thing we talked about last night, I have some, er, news to tell you." He looked uneasily at the many pairs of eyes fixed on him. "If you would like to go someplace more... private. My quarters, perhaps, or yours." He added quickly.

She nodded. "Mine are a little closer." She wiped the sweat out of her eyes and led the way. They didn't speak until Kel had locked them into her rooms. It was true that they were somewhat bigger than her old ones- she had a sitting room as well as a bedroom and dressing room. She went straight to the later and he heard the rustle of clothes as she got changed.

"I didn't expect you so soon." She said, her voice muffled by clothing. Raoul sat gingerly on a chair, wondering exactly what he was going to say to her.

"Well, uh, I didn't want to keep you waiting." He said.

Kel emerged from the room in a tan shirt and breeches with a darker brown tunic overtop. Her hair stuck out at weird angles, but she didn't seem to notice. "So?" She asked, taking a seat on a chair across from Raoul.

"Well," He cleared his throat. "I- you know, I never used to stutter, right?- about last night, I, um, would... like to, er, continue- with, you know- if you want to, I mean, umm." Why was her hand on his knee? Now his hand was on her hand and he squeezed it.

"Good," She whispered.

Raoul looked up and swallowed, combing his fingers through her hair to make it lay flat. "Really?"

She smiled. "Of course, silly." Kel leaned forward, her eyelids dropping.

Raoul didn't need any more of an invitation than that. He kissed her, letting a bit of fire sneak into it. Pulling her into his lap he soon realised that she had taken over the kiss. It was her tongue that was in his mouth, wrecking havoc on his self control. And there- there was that, that_ thing _again. How did she do that? Raoul pulled his mouth away and she tried to catch it again but he started trailing kisses down her jaw. Kel tipped her head back, shivering as he gently nipped at her throat and nuzzled her collarbone. He kissed the little V of skin that showed through the lacing of her shirt.

She gasped and pulled away, but before Raoul could apologise she had taken a very intimate interest in his right ear.

"Kel," He murmured her name like a prayer, stroking her back. She left his ear and worked her way down his jaw, coming to a rest with her head leaning against his chest. He was glad to see that she was gasping just as much as he. With arms made weak by her proximity Raoul tugged her close. They sat quietly, their hearts beating against one another wildly at first, but they slowly calmed down.

"Well that settles that." She said, shifting her weight and resettling against him.

Why did she have to be the calm collected one? Raoul, after all, was the seasoned lover. He should be the one teaching her new things, not quivering under her touch like a nervous virgin. Stupid Yamanis and their stupid Yamani masks, he thought to himself.

"So what now?" She said, her breath warming his neck.

"I hadn't really thought that far ahead." He admitted. "But my leg is getting numb so maybe..."

Kel jumped to her feet. "Sorry," She said. "I didn't realise." She picked at the hem of her tunic.

Somewhat satisfied at seeing her distraught Raoul stood. She may know how to get what she wanted when it came to the body, but she floundered afterwards. Good, now he didn't feel like such a sissy.

"It's all right." Raoul rubbed the feeling back into his thigh and got up as well, standing close to Kel but not actually touching her. He dipped his head to whisper in her ear, "I hardly noticed." She quivered and Raoul gently bit her earlobe, then pulled away, adjusting his clothes and finger combing his hair. Kel just stood there, watching and looking a little lost.

Suddenly her eyes cleared and bore into Raoul. "We can't tell anyone." She said. "I mean, I'm not ashamed of you or anything, but if people knew, they'd talk. They'd say that's the only reason why I made it as a squire."

Raoul opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again. "You're right." He said finally, looking at Kel, his Kel standing in the middle of the room looking so alone. If they couldn't tell anyone then what was the point? "We won't tell anyone." He came closer but Kel jumped away.

"And what about Buri?" She demanded. "Gods, I'd forgotten about her." She put her face in her hands.

"It's all right," Raoul insisted, putting an arm around Kel. "We're not actually lovers, or in love. It was just that one night after the party. But we kept up the ruse to avoid other matchmakers. It benefited Buri just as much as me."

"Really?" She looked up.

Raoul nodded. "Really. I promise."

Kel bit her lip, then said "Well, keep it up then. If everyone thinks you're with her they may not pay attention to me."

"You're right." Raoul nodded. "You are the clever one." He kissed her forehead. "What will you do about Dom?"

"Dom?" Kel's voice was muffled against Raoul's chest. "What are you talking about?"

"Aren't you two... you know?" He said suggestively.

Kel shook her head. "Well, no, not really, I mean he flirts and we've kissed a few times, but he's not actually interested in me."

"I don't see why he wouldn't be." Raoul nuzzled her ear, then pulled away to look at her face. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Raoul..."

"Really-truly-beautiful." He kissed her between each word and when he pulled away again her face glowed. Had no one ever told her that before? He found that hard to believe, but she seemed truly flattered in a way that she wouldn't be if she were used to such comments. "I don't suppose you could keep up a ruse with Dom, you know, to re-direct court gossip?"

Kel looked up at him uncertainly. "I don't know, he might be hurt."

"You could tell him." Raoul suggested, knowing he must tread lightly. "He wouldn't tell, and he might like to help you out."

"I guess I could ask." She said, finally wrapping her arms around Raoul's waist.

When Raoul left Kel's rooms he had a smile on his face and a song in his heart. He whistled a cheerful tune as we walked down the halls. Kel had promised to come and see him tonight. He wasn't completely sure what this visit would entail, but he had a fair idea. That night when there was a knock on the door Raoul jumped to his feet and eagerly pulled it open. A page stood in the hall and handed him a note.

"Lady Kel asked me to bring this for you." He said.

Raoul took the note and closing the door read it over. It said that she had talked to Dom and he had agreed, but insisted to taking her out for dinner because- she quoted Dom in the note- "We might as well have fun pretending." As long as he didn't take this pretending to far, Raoul thought darkly, hiding the note in a secret compartment in his desk. He should destroy it- if it were found Kel would never forgive him- but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Raoul went around the room, blowing out the candles and climbed into his lonely double bed.


	3. Chapter Three

**Warnings:** (which I probably should have put at the beginning… oh well) This fic contains sexuality. A lot of it. And **SEVERE **anti-Dom material. If you can't deal turn back now!

Chapter three

Raoul was no longer enthusiastic about opening the door. After he had hit one of his sergeants in the face when he opened the door too fast Raoul had forced himself to calm down. Kel hadn't come for three days. He saw her once in the hall yesterday and she apologised for not coming sooner, but was cut off when a gaggle of pages clattered by.

When he heard a knock he took his time answering it. When he swung the door open- carefully so he wouldn't kill whoever was on the other side- he froze. Kel was there. He had been convinced that she had changed her mind but was too afraid to tell him.

"Come in," He found his voice, ushering her inside and locking the door to make sure they wouldn't be interrupted.

Kel waited until the door was closed, then threw herself into his arms. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, but with Dom and then Cleon is here with his wife and I just... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept you waiting." She kissed his neck timidly, as if she expected him to reject her.

Raoul, though miffed at being ignored for so long, was glad that Kel was back. So glad, in fact, that he didn't care why she hadn't come sooner. "I forgive you," He said, tickling her ribs, causing her to give a startled yelp. "Just don't do it again."

Kel nodded and tried to bat his hands away, but Raoul pressed on tickling her mercilessly. "Raoul," She gasped between helpless giggles. "Stop it!"

"You don't laugh enough." Raoul said.

Kel broke away, grinning. "Maybe not," She backed through a doorway. Did she know that she'd just led them into Raoul's bedroom? "But I-"

Raoul lunged for her, pinning her to the bed and tickled her again, loving how she writhed against him.

"Seriously," She gasped. "If you don't stop right now I'm leaving."

Raoul sighed sadly, but he did stop. He didn't, however, move off of her. "You wouldn't leave me alone again," He said mournfully against her neck.

"No." He felt her hands sliding over his back and under his tunic. "I wouldn't." She strained to kiss him.

"Ah, ah, ah, wait a second." He lifted his head away. "What is this?" He pulled her hands out from under his tunic. "You know once we start..."

"I know." Kel said, arching her back so that the tips of her breasts just barely touched his chest. "But I want to."

Raoul grunted, allowing her to draw off his tunic before he dipped down to kiss her with all the passion he'd bottled up over the days without her. She gasped and gripped his back tightly, probably leaving bruises. Raoul didn't care, all he cared about was making love to Kel.

He trailed a line of kisses down her chin and throat, between her breasts and down her belly where her pulled up her shirt and tunic and poked his tongue into her navel. He pushed her shirt up higher, stroking and kissing her ribs until she pulled the clothing off. Then came the breastband. Raoul wasn't entirely sure how that worked so he gently rolled Kel onto her front and kissed the back of her neck and her spine until he had the thing off. She flipped onto her back and Raoul wanted to just sit there and look at her, but he doubted she'd like that. Instead he kissed her all over, running his hands over her bare skin. At some point his shirt disappeared. He wasn't sure when or how that happened, but he didn't care.

Raoul did notice, however, when Kel unbuckled his belt and pushed off his breeches and loincloth. He pressed his hips against hers, letting her know in no uncertain terms how much he wanted her. She moaned and the rest of her clothes were quick to join the pile on the floor. "I want to kiss every inch of you." Raoul said, panting, and started with her ear.

Kel didn't say anything, she merely guided his head to her breasts. While his mouth was occupied his hands went lower, curving around her hips.

When he pushed inside her it was like falling into heaven. He tried to pace himself, tried to be careful not to hurt her but she would have none of it. When she came he was quick to follow, moaning just as loudly as her.

Spent, he rolled over, hugging her tight. Kel's head rested on Raoul's shoulder, one arm laying across his chest. He brushed some hair out of her face. "Beautiful." He said before closing his eyes.

Raoul slowly woke as something beside him stirred. He opened his eyes to a nice view of Kel's rear as she bent to pick something up off the floor. She tugged his tunic over her head and disappeared into the privy. Raoul sat up, glancing out the window to see that it was late morning. He was about to settle back into bed when he noticed something on the sheets.

A few drops of blood had dried, staining the sheet a rusty brown.

Where had that come from? Sure, they had bitten each other, but he didn't think they'd broken the skin.

Slowly the realisation dawned on him. Kel had been a virgin. At first he didn't believe it- why would a virgin wear a charm against pregnancy? Surly she had tumbled Cleon during the progress, or one of her other friends, or even one of his men. He touched the spot in wonder. He was her First. Raoul was glad- at least it hadn't been one of those bumbling boys who hardly knew what to do with a woman.

The door from the privy creaked open and he pulled the blankets up, covering the stains. Somehow he doubted she wanted him to know. Kel emerged from the privy, hair still tousled, wearing his tunic. He liked how it looked on her, even if the shoulders were a bit too big.

"Good morning, beautiful." He pulled her into bed and kissed her warmly. She snuggled under the blankets, allowing the tunic to ride up so her bare hips pressed against his.

"Good morning." She said. Raoul had never seen such a happy smile in his life.

He kissed her forehead. "I love you, you know?" He kissed her mouth before she could reply. He was afraid to hear her reply- what if she didn't feel the same? He didn't want to scare her off.

Kel didn't seem about to jump up and run so he released her mouth and ducked under the covers to kiss other parts of her. "Mrmph." She mumbled, lifting up the covers so she could see him. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He tugged the blanket back over his head.

Kel leaned back, apparently content to let him have his fun. When he came up again she was gasping and quaking.

"You liked that, did you?" He nuzzled her. Kel answered him with a mostly incoherent moan.

"I should... uh..." She trailed off as Raoul kissed her neck. "Stay here for the rest of my life." She finished, rolling over so that she was mostly on top of Raoul. Kissing him, Kel could taste herself on his lips.

"Good," he murmured, his lips brushing against hers. "Because I'm not nearly finished with you yet."

"Oh, really?" She sat back, straddling his hips.

"Really," He sat up, pushed her onto her back and held her hands over her head. "And this time no distracting me."

Though Raoul would have been happy to stay in bed, ravishing his young lover all day it was impossible. For one thing he was getting pretty tired, for another Kel was hungry so he begrudgingly pulled on some clothes- his tunic now smelled of her- and went on a quest to the kitchens. When he returned he found a fully dressed Kel looking at a painting.

When she heard him come in she turned and smiled. Such a beautiful, loving smile. Raoul's own lips pulled into a grin. _He _was the reason she was so happy, and it made him happy knowing that she was happy.

It was a happy situation all around.

"So, what did you bring me?" She asked as he cleared off part of his table to set down the tray.

"I brought us some breakfast, you know, what people like to eat in the morning."

"Oh, good." She walked over and though she tried to hide it she had a bit of a limp.

"Are you all right?" He asked, suddenly concerned. "You're walking kind of funny."

"Well it's your fault." She said, sitting down and taking a bite out of a piece of toast.

"I'm sorry..."

She shook her head. "Don't be stupid, I'm not mad." Kel laughed. "You look so cute when you do that." She reached across the table to touch his cheek.

Raoul smiled sheepishly. "You shouldn't scare me like that. So..." He leaned back in his chair, a piece of toast in his hands. "Any big plans for today?"

Kel sighed and nodded. "Dom," She said. "He wants to go out riding. He's taking this thing awfully seriously." She frowned, but quickly chased the lines from her face. "Never mind."

"He hasn't tried... anything, has he?" Raoul asked, trying to sound casual and suppressing unreasonable amounts of jealousy. "You know, threatened your virtue and so forth."

Kel giggled and shook her head. "Well, he holds my hand when we're in public, but it's just so people think..." She trailed off, seeing Raoul's face. "I'll stop, if you want. I can just tell him I can't do it anymore. He'll understand."

Raoul shook his head. "No, I told you to do this, remember? I'm fine with it, really."

Kel looked unconvinced. "Are you sure? You're looking pretty green to me." She teased gently.

Raoul sighed. "Maybe I am." He admitted, leaning across the table to take Kel's hand. "But I can't help it." He kissed the tips of her fingers. "Now eat up. I wouldn't want you falling off your horse because you didn't eat breakfast."

She smiled and popped a piece of apple in her mouth. Raoul stared, transfixed for a moment before he remembered that he, too, had food to eat and things to do today. He couldn't remember what any of them were, but he knew there were things. Important things. Things like kissing Kel to within an inch of her life- no, wait, he couldn't do that just yet. "Will you come back tonight?" Raoul found himself asking.

Kel nodded. "If I can," She said. "Probably."

'Probably' wasn't exactly what Raoul had in mind, but he had to remember that she was pretending to court Dom, which meant she might be staying out late with him. Which meant Raoul would sleep alone. Which meant Raoul would be sad.

"I should get going," Kel said, coming around the table and kissing Raoul softly on the lips. "I'll see you tonight." He watched as she opened the door and cautiously stuck her head out. Seeing that it was all clear she left and walked swiftly down the hall.

Raoul had no idea how long he'd been sitting there, contemplating the crumbs left over from Kel's meal before he heard the door creak open. Had she come back?

"There you are. I was wondering if you'd forgotten about me." Buri said. Raoul jumped to his feet and gave the small woman a hug.

"I thought you weren't suppose to be back for a couple of days."

"I wasn't," Buri said. "But one of my riders is pregnant so we had to come back early." She shook her head. "You shouldn't be dipping into the workplace ink- oh, was I interrupting something?" She said, taking notice of the remains of the breakfast for two and Raoul's rumpled appearance.

"Er," Raoul said, face starting to burn. "No, but I wanted to talk to you about that. Shut the door, would you?"

Buri did as he asked. "So you'll be wanting to call it off then?" She asked, sitting on the arm of a chair.

"Actually, no." Raoul admitted. "See, the girl- woman, I mean, well, we don't really want anyone to know so she's pretending to see someone to divert court gossip and I, er, gave her the idea because of what we've been doing." He looked up and saw Buri looking somewhat amused. "What?"

"I may help you," She said. "Depends. Will you still pay for meals?" Raoul nodded. "Huh. What about flowers?"

"What?" Raoul was taken aback. "Since when did you want flowers- hey, you're teasing me."

"Damn straight. But really, I'll do it on one condition."

Raoul raised his eyebrow expectantly. "Which is?"

"You tell me who it is."

"Urg." Raoul groaned. "Did you not hear the part where she said she didn't want anyone to know?"

"Come on, you can tell me." Buri nudged him. "Who is it? I won't help if you don't tell."

Raoul knew she was serious. She would refuse help just to make his life more difficult- and entertaining to her. "Kel." He finally said.

"Seriously, Raoul, who is it?"

"I told you!"

"But... no." Buri looked at him, shocked. "Do you know what it would do to her reputation if anyone found out?"

"I'm perfectly aware of it." Raoul said tersely. "Hence all of these precautions."

"You hate it, don't you?" Buri said. "Thinking about her out with another man, even if it is pretending. Who is it, anyway?"

"Domitan of Masbolle."

"You trust _him?_"

Raoul shook his head. "No. I trust Kel."

Buri also shook her head. "How long has this been going on?"

"Kel and Dom have been courting on and off for a while now, I think, but-"

"No, I mean you and Kel."

"Oh," Raoul counted up the days. "Um, six, I think."

"Six what? Weeks? Months?"

Raoul shook his head. "Days."

Buri gaped at him. "That's all? And you've both already got your red-herrings all set up and everything." She shook her head. "Please tell me you were just really hungry this morning." She motioned to the plates of food still scattered over the table. When Raoul didn't answer Buri's eyes grew wide. "You slept with her? Already?"

"Well we've known each other for years." Raoul said defensively. "It's not like I just met her."

"No, you're right. You do realise-"

"I'm old enough to be her father, I know. But she doesn't seem to care so why should I?"

"Well, as long as you're happy." She said, somewhat uncertainly. "Come on, we should go out and be all couple-like. You know, divert gossip and so on. Actually, first put on some fresh clothes and brush your hair. You look like you just rolled out of bed."

"Well, I did-"

"That, my friend, falls under the category of way, way to much information. Now scoot." She chased him into the dressing room. "And if you were doing what I think you were doing last night it's a good thing I showed up. You didn't say her name, did you?"

"I thought that was too much information." Raoul called from the dressing room.

"Well, if someone happens to hear you bellowing your love for her the ruse will quickly be up." Buri said dryly.

Raoul emerged, wearing fresh clothes though he'd done nothing about his hair. Buri tsked at him and got a brush.

"You're right." Raoul said. "I'd better be careful then. But she doesn't have to be." He grinned. "Which is good, because I don't think I could stop her- ow!" Buri had hit him over the head with his brush.

"You will under no circumstances tell me what goes on in there." She nodded towards the bedroom.

"But you asked- ow! All right, my lips are sealed." He grumbled as Buri finished brushing out his hair. "Come, now, my crumpet, let us make the court's tongues wag."


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter four

Raoul dutifully followed Buri around the market. She had errands to run, he was just there to carry things.

"Come on, Raoul, look cheerful." Buri said, handing him yet another package to carry. "I'm not big on shopping either, but you don't seem me glowering."

"Yes, but..." He trailed off as they passed by an eating house. Had he just seen Kel and Dom? He craned his neck to look through the window. "I say," He said with renewed vigour. "How about some lunch?"

"I'm not going to help you spy on your girlfriend." Buri said dryly.

"Who, me?" Raoul asked as he climbed the stairs. "You know I love eating at the... er... Monkey's Bonnet."

Buri followed him, if only because he had all of her packages. The eatery was about half full, it was the tail end of the lunch time rush. Raoul got a booth near Kel and Dom's, but not so near that they'd be noticed.

"This is childish." Buri said, looking at the menu. A waitress came by to get their orders. "Whatever is most expensive." She said when asked what she wanted.

Raoul rolled his eyes. "Right, like you're not. So... what are they doing?"

"I believe they are in the process of making little Dom juniors." Buri said sarcastically. She did not look impressed when Raoul actually turned to check. "Will you relax? They're just talking. Oh- wait- I do believe Dom took her hand. That bastard. You'd better go kill him, Raoul, you don't want him seducing her."

"Will you keep it down? Someone might hear you."

Buri grinned wickedly. "And wouldn't that be a shame?" Seeing Raoul's expression her face turned serious. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You, on the other hand, are going to have to eventually. You two can't keep this a secret forever."

"Who says it will be forever." It popped out before Raoul could stop it.

Buri raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, I don't think about it like that, but she might."

"I highly doubt that." Buri said. "I don't think she takes this sort of thing lightly."

"I know." Raoul sighed, no longer hungry. Come to think about it, he hadn't been hungry in the first place, he'd only come here so he could... not spy on his lover.

Lover. He liked that word. Especially when it was applied to Kel.

"Oh, hello Raoul, I didn't see you there." Dom said cheerfully. "Enjoying the scenery, are we?"

"Don't you have shoes to shine or something?" Raoul grumbled, avoiding looking at Dom.

"Nope," He said. "I'm just taking Kel out for a nice, romantic lunch..."

"Can it." Buri said sharply. "He's having enough trouble as it is."

Raoul dared a glance up. Dom was wearing his usual expression of good humour with just a touch of insolence, but he was sure there was also a hint of something slightly less positive. He probably thought Raoul was a cradle robber. Raoul wondered just what Kel had told him. He wanted to ask, but he didn't dare. Kel had already noticed his jealousy and he didn't want to give her any reason to notice it again. He had no right to be jealous; and if she decided she wanted someone her own age he would let her go.

He didn't want to, but he would because it's The Right Thing To Do.

Myles was right about honour. It sucked. Raoul speared a sausage and stuck it in his mouth. When he looked up Dom had gone. Turning slightly, in what he hoped looked like a casual stretch he also saw the Kel had left.

"Smile," Buri said. "You don't want anyone thinking you care."

"I know." He sighed. But I do.

That night when Kel visited Raoul he forced every thought of Dom from his mind and embraced her warmly. "Hi there."

"Hi." She said, drawing away. "I saw you at the Monkey's Bonnet today."

Damn. "Yeah, some coincidence."

"Were you following me?" She didn't look angry, only curious.

"No." Raoul said quickly. "I wasn't, I was there with Buri and I was hungry... I mean, I saw you in there, but I wasn't following you or anything. Sorry."

He heard Kel sigh, but he also felt her come closer. "You can't do that, you know- and not just because of gossips... I need freedom to be with my friends." She looked up at him.

"I know." He cupped her cheek. "I wouldn't dream of keeping you from them."

She continued to stare up at him with those big, doe eyes of hers. Raoul bent and kissed the tip of her nose. "I won't do it again, I promise." He was rewarded with a smile.

Gods, she tasted good, especially when she smiled. He needed to figure out a way that they could be together, publically, and get Dom out of the picture.

Ideas, however, were not forthcoming. Besides, when Kel was around all he could think about was her- how to please her, how to tease a smile from her lips. He nuzzled her neck, tickling her and she giggled. Raoul pulled back and looked down at her. So beautiful, though she looked distracted, pensive

"Is something wrong?" Raoul asked, stroking her cheek.

"I suppose you want to know what I said to Dom about this." Kel said, still eyeing Raoul with a touch of suspicion.

"Nope." Raoul said quickly. "I do not want to know, you don't have to tell me."

Kel rolled her eyes. "I bet. Well he didn't like it much, but he agreed to help me. I think he's still got a bit of a crush on me." Kel frowned. "This really isn't fair for him... I think I should call it off." She looked up to him, as if for approval.

"Do what you need to." Raoul said, the beginnings of a scheme stirring in his mind. "Wait, I have an idea."

He stared into space for a few seconds while Kel waited quietly. "What if..." Raoul said slowly. "What if you two make a show of being in love, then break up? Loudly, where people can hear you. Buri and I could do the same thing, then we could start spending more time together- misery loves company, right? Then if someone noticed what's actually going on they'll think we're just rebounding off each other."

Kel stared at him in surprise, but she slowly seemed to accept the idea. "That might actually work." She said, then looked down. "You want to be with me that badly?" her words were so quiet that for a moment Raoul wasn't sure if he'd heard her correctly.

"Of course I do." He tipped her head up, catching her eye. "Didn't you hear me when I said I loved you?"

"Yes," She flushed. "But I thought... some people will say anything to get a girl."

"You are not just 'a girl!'" Raoul insisted. "I don't think of you as a fling, or a passing amusement. I would never do that to you."

"I know." She said. "I just..." She shifted her weight from one foot to another. "I don't know, I'm sorry. I'm being stupid."

"No," Raoul murmured. "You're not stupid." It hurt him that she thought he was just another lad looking for a lay. He would have to find a way to prove to her that this wasn't the case at all. How could he do that? Maybe if he didn't drag her straight to bed every time he saw her. No wonder she thought their relationship was all about the sex.

Raoul drew Kel over to his couch. He didn't know what he could do to reassure her so just held her, hoping that would do the trick. Kel sighed, happily this time, and leaned against him, allowing herself to relax. When was the last time she had been completely off guard like this? Has she ever let herself be this vulnerable? In that moment Raoul realised that he could destroy her. It would only take a few cutting words. He also knew that she could do the same to him. Raoul wasn't entirely sure he liked that idea, but he trusted her, jealousy be damned.

Kel's breathing became deeper, more regular. He was sure that she had fallen asleep and began to ease away. She would be awfully stiff in the morning if she spent the night curled against his side. Before he got very far Kel's arm snaked out, holding him in place.

"Don't leave me," She mumbled, half asleep.

"I never will." Raoul promised, gathering her in his arms and slowly standing up- she was heavy- and brought her into his room. He tugged off her boots and belt, changed into a nightshirt and laid beside Kel, pulling the blankets over them.

He slept more peacefully than he had in months.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Raoul woke up early. He rose quietly, careful not to disturb Kel, dressed and slipped out of the room. He padded quietly down the deserted halls towards the kitchen. When he returned Kel had just emerged from the privy.

"Hi there," He put down his tray and strode over to Kel, kissing her softly.

"Hi," She answered, yawning. "What time is it?"

"Early." Raoul answered. "Are you hungry?"

Kel nodded and took a seat. "I'm still dressed." She said, sounding mildly surprised.

Raoul smiled. "You seemed pretty tired last night." He sat across from her.

"Yeah," She said, a huge, jaw-cracking yawn coming and going.

"You could go back to bed, you know. There's no point in being up this early if we don't have to." Raoul picked at his food, not really hungry.

"I guess so," Kel put down a cup of juice and got to her feet. "Are you coming with me?" She raised an eyebrow.

Raoul didn't need to be asked twice. Pausing only to give Kel a kiss that left them both breathless he followed her back into his bedroom.

When they emerged again they were both somewhat more dishevelled and Kel was wearing Raoul's tunic again.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Kel asked, sinking into a chair a picking at her abandoned breakfast.

"We have to do something?"

Kel rolled her eyes. "I told Dom I couldn't go out with him today because we had plans."

"Well, I guess we could go riding." Raoul said quickly, noting Kel's barely contained smirk. "Unless you'd rather spend the day with Dom."

"No, I really wouldn't. He's even more clingy than you are." She said teasingly.

"I'm not clingy!"

"No," Kel leaned over and kissed his nose. "You're just 'protective' right?"

"Sounds better than clingy." Raoul muttered.

"Come on, then." She looked down at herself. "Where're my clothes?"

Raoul watched as she hunted for her misplaced items. "You're not riding the bruiser are you?"

"Ah-ha!" Kel came out of his room fully dressed, hair brushed and they left for the stables.

"I don't fancy getting my arm bitten off if I get within ten feet of you."

"No, I'll bring Hoshi." Kel assured him. "I'd hate for you to get your arm bitten off. It's so useful."

Raoul grinned wickedly. "Meet you out front?" Kel nodded and they parted ways so they could saddle their horses. He was just leading Drum to the courtyard in front of the stable when he heard slightly raised voices. Raoul came to a stop, listening intently.

"You said she threw a shoe!"

"Well, she did." That was Kel's calm, Yamani lump voice. Who was the other one?

"I asked Stephan and he said all of the horses were fine." Dom. Why was Dom yelling at Kel?

"I... fine, Hoshi didn't throw a shoe, but can you blame me? You've been so... strange lately. Oh, hello milord." Kel said as Raoul emerged from the stable.

"Dom," Raoul nodded, face carefully blank.

"Sir," Dom replied, also expressionless.

Raoul mounted, Kel did the same and they rode out. He was burning to ask about Dom, but Raoul was careful not to mention him. Instead he talked about some of the new recruits being trained and commented on the golden leaves falling from trees.

"It'll be winter soon," Raoul said. "Then we can settle in until spring."

"How long are you going to go on like this?" Kel asked tiredly. "I know you heard me and Dom, or at least part of it."

"I did, but I... you think I'm too clingy."

Kel sighed. "No I don't, I was just teasing. And Hoshi never threw a shoe, I just got tired of Dom's "friendly" touches, as he calls them. I don't know how long we can keep this up, and I'm afraid he might tell."

Raoul didn't think Dom would do anything like that, but then again he hadn't really spoken to him since this whole thing started.

"I'm sorry," Raoul said.

Kel looked over at him, she was quiet, sad. "It's not your fault." She nudged Hoshi closer, laying a hand on his arm. "I'm going to break it off with him. I have to, he's getting too attached. I can't believe I did this to him." She hung her head.

"Kel, I..." What could he say to her? It had been his idea to... to use Dom. Guilt wrapped it's sinewy fingers around Raoul.

"I mean, he's such a nice person, and I knew he had a crush on me. I shouldn't have asked him to do this. It kills him, seeing me with you, you know? That's the only reason why he doesn't tell, because he knows it would hurt me." She sighed, shaking her head as if to shake her thoughts away. "It was a mistake." She said firmly. "That's all. I'll tell him that when we get back."

"Do what you have to." Raoul said, knowing full well that he was responsible for the destruction of a friendship. "If you need me..."

"I know." The horses had come to a stop. Kel went on, her voice serious and her eyes trained intently on Raoul. "I wouldn't do this just for anyone. I expect a lot form you. Love, commitment. And I know I'll get it." She nodded firmly.

"You will." Raoul promised. "I-"

"I love you." Kel cut him off. "I didn't say it before, but I do, and now seems like as good a time as any."

Raoul reached over and gave Kel's shoulder a squeeze. "I love you too."

"I know." Kel sighed. "I should get back and talk to Dom before I lose my nerve." She turned back down the path, squaring her shoulders and sitting up straight as if she were going into battle.

Raoul watched her go with mixed feelings. She had finally told him she loved him, but somehow it left a dry taste in his mouth.

Commitment. It was a big word and she said she wanted it. He had no qualms about giving it to her, but he worried how long she would want it. He remembered listening to Numair sighing over Daine and worrying that she wouldn't want him. Now he understood. Then again they were still together so maybe there was hope for him and Kel.

He kicked his horse into a trot, trying to decide whether or not she would actually appreciate a ring. In the end Raoul decided against it. She might like it at first, but it could get caught on something. Besides, he knew she didn't like drawing attention to her scarred hands; not to mention the gossip that would ensue should someone notice. Maybe she could wear one around her neck? Perhaps on the chain with her anti-pregnancy charm.

Raoul waited, giving Kel a big head start before he started back towards the palace.

That evening Raoul settled by his fire with a book, not really expecting Kel to show up. He figured she would probably want some privacy after her fight with Dom.

Raoul was mistaken. The knock on his door was so soft he wasn't sure if he heard it.

"Raoul?"

That he heard, and he jumped to his feet and quickly opened the door for Kel. She had her best lump face on, but it was easy to see that she was upset. "How did it go?" Raoul asked quietly.

She sighed and shook her head. "Not good. He was really upset."

"I wasn't asking about Dom."

"I... I feel..." She trailed off helplessly. "I don't know. He's off getting drunk somewhere because of me. How am I suppose to feel?"

"Kel, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have suggested it." Raoul pulled Kel into an embrace, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

"Well, half of the palace probably heard us fighting so it worked." She said sadly. "We can get married now."

"Did you just say...?"

"Yes." Kel pulled away from him. "In a few days have a "fight" with Buri, then we can run off and get married and tell everyone it's because we're fed up with romance. Wasn't that what you were planning from the beginning?"

"Sort of." Raoul shifted his weight uncomfortably. "But I didn't think it would be so soon."

"Do you want to or not?" Kel demanded. "And tell the truth, I'm in no mood for beating around the bush."

"Of course I want to!" Raoul said. "How could you doubt that? I just..." He couldn't believe he was using Numair's phrase. "Don't want to trap you, that's all."

"Raoul," She said. "I'll be trapped no matter who I marry. At least you seem to understand me."

"If you're sure." Raoul said. "Oh, here, I got you something." He walked over to his desk and rummaged in one of the drawers, finally emerging with a little box. "You can wear it with your charm, if you want, so no one will see it." He opened the box and handed her the plain gold ring. "If you like it, that is."

Kel took it mutely and tried it on. The ring fit the middle finger of her left hand perfectly. She took it off, the pulled off her necklace and attached the ring to it.

"Thank you." She said quietly, putting it back around her neck before hugging Raoul tightly.

He hugged her back, praying that neither of them would ever live to regret their decision.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

"My Lord? May I have a word?"

Raoul, startled out of his day dream which featured him, Kel and a field of daisies nodded to Dom. "Of course."

"It's a private matter sir, so if you don't mind..."

"Right. Well, come on." Raoul beckoned. He had been on his way to his office anyway. Once inside Raoul sat behind his desk, leaning back in his chair. Trying to appear nonchalant- he had a pretty good idea what this was about- Raoul asked, "What's on your mind, sergeant?"

"I think you know." Dom paced restlessly, then came to a halt. "It's Kel, sir. She... well, I wish I could wish you two happiness, I really truly do. But I don't think you can give her what she needs."

"And that would be...?" Raoul didn't like where this conversation was going, but he had known Dom would confront him sooner or later.

"She needs a lover. You're a father to her, to all of us." He shook his head, clearly trying to gather his thoughts.

Raoul remained silent, trying he best to ignore the truth of Dom's words. If Kel didn't want him she wouldn't be with him, and that was the end of it.

"I can see you two care about each other, don't get me wrong. I actually thought you were a good match, at first. But really, how long do you think it will last? You're getting old, Raoul, there's no escaping it. You may not even live to see your first child emerge from The Chamber. And despite all your careful little plans," Dom's badly concealed glare washed over Raoul. "People will talk, Kel won't be able to show her face at court and everyone will doubt her worthiness of her shield. Do you want to do that to her?" Dom's eyes bore directly into Raoul's. "Do you?"

Raoul struggled not to fidget under his gaze. "I appreciate you're concern, Dom, but Kel is a grown woman, she knows the consequences of her actions. She has accepted them."

"She'll be ruined!" Dom shouted, exasperated. "When she's in love, she's blind to everyone else. She thinks it'll all be fine, but the conservatives will say that she cheated and that girls still shouldn't be knights. It's not just her that will be ruined, it will be any girl who wants her shield."

He was right. He was right and they both knew it. Raoul took a deep breath. "I'll talk to her." He finally said. "But I'm not going to break her heart over it. She chose me and not you, and you'll just have to accept it."

"Is that what you think this is about? Look, she's a great girl and I'd take her in a second, but she's my friend and I don't want to see her get hurt."

"Neither do I." Raoul said grimly, slowly getting to his feet. "So what do you want me to do about it? Tell her I can't go through with it? I love her."

"I know." Dom said. "Thank you for your time." He left abruptly, closing the door behind him.

Raoul sank back into his chair, head in his hands. Dom was right, curse him. Everything he said was true. He should break it off, it would be the right thing to do, but the thought of hurting Kel like that was unbearable. What would happen if he didn't was just as bad, if not worse. At least if he left her she would still have her honour and her shield.

Raoul's head was spinning. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, but if he went back to his rooms he was sure to see Kel. Raoul didn't think he could face her just yet. He had to figure out a way to broach the subject, to relate his concerns to her without driving her away. Was that even possible?

Slumping further into his chair he tried desperately to clear his mind. Finally he got up and headed to his room. If Kel showed up he would just have to talk to her.

As he rounded the corner he heard a voice that he never wanted to listen to again. Dom was standing in front of his door, talking heatedly with Kel.

"Dom, haven't you done enough prying today?" Raoul growled.

Dom jumped to face Raoul, then brushed past him without a word.

Raoul unlocked his rooms, making a mental note to have a key made for Kel. He stepped inside and she followed.

"Did he talk to you too?" Kel asked listlessly. "I'm sorry, I tried to tell him..." She shook her head, taking Raoul's hands in hers.

"He's does have a point." Raoul admitted begrudgingly, leaning his forehead against Kel's. "About a lot of things."

"What? Are you on his side now?" She backed away from him. "You think we should break it off?"

"No! No, Kel, I don't. I just want to make sure you've thought this through. I'm sorry," Raoul stepped forwards, resting his hands on Kel's shoulders. "I just couldn't stand it if you were unhappy. For any reason." He stroked her hair, then her cheek. His fingertips slid gently over her skin to cup her face. He kissed her, softly and with all the tenderness he could muster. When he pulled away Raoul saw that Kel's mask had completely fallen away, leaving a scared young woman behind.

"I know what they'll say." She said slowly. "And I keep telling myself that it isn't worth risking everything, but then..." She waved her hand uselessly in his direction. "I see your face, or kiss you and I can't imagine not having you. I..." Kel dropped her eyes. "Can we leave? Can we just go away for a while? Please?"

"Of course." He whispered, kissing her cheeks. "Why don't you start packing. I'll make a show with Buri and then we can leave."

"In the morning." She said, wrapping her arms around him.

"Of course." Raoul stroked her back. "Where do you want to go?"

"It doesn't matter." Her voice was muffled.

"How about Goldenlake? We could make it there before the roads got too bad, then we could stay there all winter."

She nodded, then pulled her face away from Raoul's chest so she could look up at him. "What about the Own? You can't just take off for the winter."

"Yes, I can. We have the winter off, remember?"

"Right." Kel said, burying her face against him once again. After a moment she pulled away again, but this time it was so she could kiss Raoul.

She clung on him tightly, her kiss desperate. Raoul could do nothing but kiss her back, try to reassure her. As soon as he talked to Buri he would take Kel to the nearest temple of the Goddess, marry her, and bring her home and away from prying eyes

"FINE! You're stupid anyway!"

"Well you have bad breath in the morning!"

"You have bad breath all the time!"

Raoul tried to suppress a grin. He hadn't had this much fun with Buri since that time she spent the night in his tent. "At least I bathe occasionally."

"Occasionally being the keyword. You know what you're problem is? You're boring. Would it kill you to party a little every now and then?"

By this time a large crowd of people had gathered, pretending not to be listening intently to the argument.

"Maybe I would if they weren't so boring. You think I'm boring? Fine, go find someone more to your tastes." Raoul growled. Enough people has seen them, they didn't have to carry on for any longer. As much as he enjoyed fighting with his best friend, they had been at it for an hour. At first no one had taken notice of them but as soon as they started insulting each other's personal hygiene a crowd had formed in no time.

"You know what? Maybe I will."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"I'll come by later to get my stuff."

"If I don't burn it first."

Raoul and Buri glared at each other, then stalked away. Raoul headed to his rooms and started packing. He wasn't surprised when Alanna showed up.

"What was that about?" She demanded. She didn't need to tell him what 'that' was.

"We had a fight."

"In the middle of the market?"

"Yes," Raoul didn't really want to lie to his friend- mostly because she'd kill him when she found out. Then again he wasn't sure if Kel would want him to share their secret.

"I heard you had a 'no you're stupid' fight for ten minutes before moving on to... what was it? Complain about each others breath?"

"Er... yes?" Raoul looked down. When she said it that way of course it sounded stupid.

Alanna sighed and sat down on Raoul's trunk. "What's going on?"

"I'm going to Goldenlake for the winter." Raoul said.

"I don't mean that. You've been all mysterious lately. And sleeping in really late." Alanna frowned. "And I know about the whole thing you and Buri have. I suggested it to her, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Right. Well, er, you see..."

"Have you found yourself another woman?"

Raoul nodded uncomfortably.

"Who is she?"

"She wants to keep it a secret." Raoul muttered.

Alanna rolled her eyes. "I can keep a secret, in case you haven't forgotten I pretended to be a boy for most of my young life."

She did have a point there. "Kel," Raoul said.

"What?"

"I'm with Kel, and we're getting married and spending the winter at Goldenlake. Happy?"

"I thought she was with that sergeant... Domitan, or something like that."

"She was pretending to be with Dom, but he wasn't taking it well. Now if you'll excuse me I want to finish packing."

"You know her reputation will be-"

"I know! She knows, everyone knows. We've taken pains to try to avoid the worse of it. You see, we're marrying each other because we're sick of everyone else. That's what we're telling people and I think they'll mostly believe it."

"I was just saying." Alanna got up. "I guess I shouldn't mention that you're about a million years older than her too."

"Out!" Raoul nudged her towards the door.

"Fine," She grumbled. "Don't come crying to me when she starts calling you grandpa." Alanna paused at the doorway and looked back. "I suppose I don't need to say this, but if you hurt her I will personally kill you."

"How sweet of you. Now if you'll excuse me?"

Alanna nodded and left.

Raoul finished his packing. He didn't have everything by any means, but he would have the rest sent along later. Hoisting his bags Raoul headed for the stables. His horses were ready and waiting and he quickly strapped his luggage onto the pack horse. When all was ready he mounted up and rode into Corus to a small temple to the Goddess on an out-of-the-way street. Two horses were already tied there- a brown mare covered in packs and a mean looking strawberry roan. Raoul tied his horses nearby and went inside.

Kel looked up from her conversation with the priestess when Raoul entered. He squeezed her hand, then followed the priestess's instructions and stood by the alter.

Raoul had never been to such a brief wedding. He and Kel quickly said their vows and the priestess deemed them married. It took longer for her to fill out the marriage certificate than it did for the actual ceremony.

Within an hour Kel and Raoul were on the road. They waited until they were outside of the city before talking.

"How do you feel?" Raoul said. He would have liked to touch her, maybe give her a quick peck, but she was riding Peachblossom. He had probably refused to be reduced to a pack pony so Kel had to ride him and leave her bags on the more even-tempered Hoshi.

"I don't know," She said, staring straight ahead. "Relieved, I guess. Did you get into much trouble for leaving?"

"You mean with Jon?" Raoul shook his head. "Not really. He was in the middle of an argument with Thayet- I think another one of their daughters wants to enter page training."

"He'd better let her this time." Kel fiddled with her reigns. "You don't think I'll hurt her chances, do you?"

Raoul didn't know what to say to that so he said the first reassuring thing that popped into his mind. "No, she'll be fine. By the time everyone figures out what's going on she'll probably already have started."

"That's true."

After that they rode in silence. There wasn't much left to say. With the long road stretching out before them there wasn't any rush. That evening they made love slowly, not worried about being seen or heard.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

The journey to Goldenlake wasn't particularly eventful. They rode all day- usually in near silence- then made camp at the side of the road where, if they had enough energy, they would make love.

When they finally did reach the castle of Goldenlake Raoul couldn't have been more relieved. He wanted to sleep in a real bed and have someone bring him food for once.

"Well, here we are." Raoul said as they approached the castle.

"I didn't expect it to be so... big." Kel looked at the high walls and looming towers.

"Well, it's not like I live here by myself." Raoul said. "My parents and brothers and their wives all live here too." Wife. Raoul loved that he could now use that word to describe Kel. "Kel, you didn't want a big wedding, did you?" He asked suddenly as they neared the castle. "I didn't even think of that."

Kel shook her head. "It might have been nice, but having a big wedding would mean organizing a big wedding." She made a face. "This way was simpler."

"As long as you're happy." He reached a hand out to her, but remembered just in time to pull back before Peachblossom could unarm him. He hadn't really wanted a large wedding either.

"My lord, we weren't expecting you!" An anxious servant said when Raoul and Kel came into the courtyard.

"I'm back for the winter. Have the tub in my room filled and some food sent up."

"And for you're companion?" The servant looked over at Kel, who was so heavily cloaked that you couldn't tell whether she was a man or a woman.

"My wife, Keladry, will be staying with me." Raoul said, trying not to laugh at the servant's shocked face.

"Y...yes milord. Of course." The servant bowed and scampered off, alerting a hostler on his way who came to take the horses.

"Peachblossom, be nice." Kel said severely. "If you bite the nice hostler I may have to get a nicer horse to ride."

Peachblossom blew through his nose, but allowed the hostler to lead him away.

"Come on, let's go get clean." Raoul said, taking Kel's arm and leading her into the keep. Raoul brought her straight to his rooms, which had been hastily dusted but were still large and comfortable. There was a small sitting room with a few chairs that branched out into a bedroom, study and dressing room. The colours were mostly dark red or brown but knick-knacks and paintings brightened the room with splashes of colour.

"How do you like it?" He asked as Kel studied his rooms.

"It's perfect." She came into his arms and kissed him warmly. "But you only ordered one bath."

"Well," Raoul ushered her into the dressing room. "My tub is very big, so..." He drew off Kel's clothes, and she his, and they splashed into the oversized bathtub together.

Raoul leaned against the back to the tub, enjoying the delicious feeling of hot water and wet Kel as she relaxed against him.

"Mmmm," She mumbled. "This is nice."

"It certainly is," Raoul said, looking through the clear water at her. Her skin was generally unmarred by bruises since she hadn't done much training during their journey. Raoul reached out of the bath to grab a soft cloth and some soap and lathered it onto Kel. He started with her shoulders and worked his way down. She leaned her head back against his shoulder, eyes closed and shivering lightly when he passed over a particularly sensitive spot. By this time he knew where most of them were and gently teased Kel until she turned over to face him and kissed him hotly.

Groaning as she slid against him, Raoul roughly pulled her against him and, with one hand tangled in her damp hair, held her head and kissed her hard.

Kel moaned softly and settled herself over him, her hands roaming freely over his chest. She too knew where all of his tender spots were and she was taking full advantage of it.

When Raoul thought he couldn't stand another moment of their heated foreplay Kel straddled him and they got down to business.

When they were done Kel and Raoul laid limply against each other as the murky, lukewarm water stilled around them.

Kel reluctantly got out of the tub and started drying off. Raoul followed suit, playfully rubbing a towel over Kel's hair, leaving it tangled and sticking out at weird angles.

"Hey!" She said indignantly, trying to smooth her hair, then poking Raoul in the ribs. "If you don't mind I'd like to avoid looking like I slept in a haystack."

"Oh, go ahead and ruin all my fun." Raoul muttered, yawning. "You tire me out, you know that? I'm going to sleep." He climbed into bed, pulling the heavy covers over himself. "Are you coming?"

"I need to write my family, and friends, and everyone." She shook her head. "I should have done it when we were still at the palace. Where do you keep your parchment and ink?"

"In the study. But can't it wait until tomorrow?" He looked beseechingly at Kel, who smiled crookedly at him.

"I guess." She slid into bed and snuggled up against him.

"That's better." He wrapped his arms around her, idly stroking her back. He kissed her forehead, then leaned his own head back against the pillows. Raoul wished this moment could last forever. It was so quiet and peaceful, and Kel's sleeping face was devoid of worry. He could have stayed there all day, just watching her sleep, but Raoul soon fell asleep himself.

When he woke up Raoul was alone. Pulling on a robe he ventured into the study where he found Kel beside a stack of parchment, scratching away with a quill.

"Hey," He came up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. "What are you doing? Writing a book?"

Kel looked up, smiling ruefully. "I just... there's a lot of people to tell and I want them to hear the whole story from me, not court gossip." She pushed back her bangs, leaving a smudge of black ink on her forehead. "I'm almost done though. This is the last one."

"Good." Raoul kissed the top of her head. "Do you want to go downstairs for breakfast or should I have someone bring it up?"

"Let's stay here." She said. "Unless... I should probably meet the rest of your family, shouldn't I?"

"That can wait." Raoul said. "After breakfast we can make introductions. I'll go find a servant." He left her to her letters and stuck his head out of his door. A servant and several of his family members were standing about, pretending to be doing something. "We're not coming out yet," he said darkly. "You, could you bring up some breakfast?"

"Yessir," The servant immediately left, leaving his aging mother and one of his older nieces staring at him.

"What?" Raoul asked. "Hasn't anyone told you it's rude to stare?"

"Is it true you married your squire?" His niece, Brina asked. "I mean, I thought it might just be someone with the same name but..."

"Yes, it's her. Now if you'll excuse me?" Raoul shut the door without waiting for a reply and turned around to find Kel standing right behind him. "Sorry," he started but she shook her head.

"Don't worry, I understand. I'd do the same thing." She smiled, reaching up to kiss Raoul.

He kissed her back warmly, nuzzling her neck before he pulled away to kiss her. Raoul was right in the middle of some very tricky work with his tongue when there was a knock on the door.

"My Lord? I have you're breakfast for you."

Oh, right. He untangled himself from Kel and cracked the door open, accepting the trays and telling the servant that they weren't to be bothered.

Raoul then put the trays on a table and looked over to Kel. "Are you hungry?"

She looked at the bowls of steaming porridge and plates of toast. "Not really." She admitted.

He had to agree. He'd much rather spend the rest of the day kissing Kel. Then again if they were going to be doing that all day they'd need to keep up their energy. Raoul said as much and Kel had to agree so they sat down and tried to act civilized for a few minutes while they wolfed down their breakfast.

When that was through Raoul didn't waste any time pulling Kel off to bed. By the time they were finished Raoul was completely exhausted and was ashamed to admit to himself that if he kept up a pace like this he would probably die. Why couldn't he have found Kel when he was sixteen? He could easily of kept up with her then. Oh, right, she hadn't even been born when he was sixteen. Raoul kicked that thought out of his mind and tried not to act tired when Kel started talking about meeting his family and about her own family he struggled to sound interested.

"You're not listening to me, are you?" Kel said, propping herself up on her elbow.

"Of course I am."

"Oh? So what was I talking about?"

"Er..."

"I thought so." She gave him a peck on the lips and laid down beside him. "I just wanted to see how long it would take for you to admit it." She yawned widely and fell asleep.

Raoul poked her awake.

"What?" She muttered, trying to grab his hand.

"You were teasing me."

"Uh huh." She rolled over so her back was to him.

Raoul poked her again. "That was mean."

"I'm terribly sorry." She muttered.

"Hmph." Raoul grumbled. He kept Kel awake for a good half hour before he gave up and went to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Kel was not looking forward to meeting Raoul's family. She didn't say anything, of course, but she did get up early to practise with her glaive.

Raoul watched her appreciatively until she was done. "Ready for breakfast?" He asked.

Sighing, Kel put her glaive away before she answered. "Yes." She rummaged through her side of the closet and started dressing.

"It'll be fine." Raoul came up behind her, giving her a hug and kissing the top of her head. "They'll love you."

"Are you sure? What if they think-"

"This is my family, remember? They've heard me raving about how great you were ever since you were a page. Even if they don't like you, which isn't going to happen- they wouldn't say anything about it. Cheer up." Raoul tickled Kel in the ribs before he pulled away to get dressed himself.

When Raoul and Kel emerged from their room the hallway was deserted. Raoul tugged Kel all the way out and she squared her shoulders, putting on a facade of confidence.

She would be fine, Raoul told himself. His family had been hounding him for ages. It had gotten to the point where his mother said she didn't care who he married if he would only get on with it.

Raoul gave Kel's hand a reassuring squeeze before they entered the great hall. When Raoul's mother saw him her eyes widened and she beckoned him over. Conversation in the hall all but stopped as Raoul and Kel made their way to the head table.

"So you're the one who finally managed to snare my son." Raoul's mother said when they were close enough to hear her. "Don't just stand there, sit down, sit down." She motioned to an empty space on her left. Raoul's father sat on the right, looking at Kel with interest. He didn't say anything- Raoul knew he would wait until his wife was through questioning Kel before he joined in.

Raoul tried to take the seat between his mother and Kel, but she would have none of it.

"I want to have a chat with her." She said. "You seem to be quite the individual. A lady knight and Raoul's wife. I'm not sure which is more impressive."

Far too polite to refuse Kel sat down beside Raoul's mother. Raoul took his seat to and left Kel to her fate. She would be fine, besides, he would be too busy answering his brother's questions to field any aimed at Kel.

When breakfast was finished Raoul immediately whisked Kel off to the stables and took her on a ride.

"Was it as terrible as you thought it would be?" Raoul asked when they had left the castle.

"No," Kel admitted. "Your family is nice. I like your mother."

"Really?" Raoul raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yeah. She reminds me of you."

"No!"

Kel smirked. "Come on, admit it. Besides, you had to learn it from somewhere." She sighed and sat back in her saddle. Today Kel was riding Hoshi so Raoul was able to ride close to her, close enough to touch.

Which he did.

Repeatedly.

Until it started snowing, that is. In no time thick flakes were drifting from the sky, coating Kel, Raoul and their horses.

"We'd better get back." Kel brushed the snow from her hair.

Raoul nodded. This close to the mountains blizzards often formed at the drop of a hat.

They turned their horses and rode back as quickly as was safe, but they were both covered in snow by the time they reached the castle.

"It's a good thing we came when we did," Raoul said as he and Kel dried off and changed. "A few days later and we would be caught in this."

Kel shuddered. "I feel sorry for anyone who is." She rubbed her arms for warmth, then started poking the fire to life. "So what are we going to do now?"

"Do?" Raoul asked, crouching beside her and stretching his hands out toward the fire. "We don't have to do anything. This might come to a surprise to you, but not everyone is busy all the time."

"Well I am."

"I'm sure you'll find something to keep yourself occupied with." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "I can think of a few places where you'll be useful."

"Mmm," She mumbled, allowing her hands to wander.

They both jumped when someone knocked on the door.

Grumbling darkly Raoul went to answer it. Two of Raoul's older nieces were standing in the hall.

"Uncle Raoul, can we talk to Lady Keladry? We didn't get to meet her at supper and..."

"Fine." He sighed, ushering them in.

Kel looked up in surprise as the girls flocked around her, sitting on the floor in front of the hearth.

"I'm Ettienna and that's Malorie."

"Hello," Kel said hesitantly. "I'm Keladry-"

"We know." Malorie said quickly. "We want- we'd like it if you told us about knight training, and rescuing the children, and the jousting and everything."

Like I couldn't tell them about jousting, Raoul thought darkly. Oh well. He was surprised that there weren't more of them. He took a seat beside Kel stroking her back and rubbing her shoulders while she talked. It wasn't long until another niece and one of his brother's wives showed up.

By the time supper came around his room was full of people. It took several minutes for them all to pry themselves out. Raoul and Kel hung back until everyone else had left.

"Sorry about that," Raoul said, guiding Kel into the hallway. "But once they learn everything they'll leave you alone. It's good to get it out of everyone's systems early."

"I guess." Kel yawned. "I'm sleepy."

"Maybe mother will leave you alone tonight." Raoul said, without much hope. "I guess this wasn't the best place to bring you."

"Better than the palace." She came to a stop, and looking Raoul in the eye said, "I'm glad you brought me. I am." She reached up to kiss him. "I've faced scarier things than your family before."

"Good." Raoul pulled her into a corner and kissed her warmly. "Gods, I love you." He kissed her again, momentarily losing himself in the sweet wetness of her mouth.

"We should go," Kel murmured. "If we don't someone might come looking for us."

"You're right," Raoul pulled away reluctantly. "But we're locking the door tonight and not opening it for _anybody_."

Dinner passed much the same as breakfast had and when it was over Raoul and Kel raced away as soon as they could.

Manners or no, Raoul knew Kel had had enough of his family for the day.

"I think tomorrow I'll have a headache." Kel said ruefully, sitting down on the edge of the bed to pull of her boots.

"Me too." Raoul gently pushed Kel onto her back, then leaned over to kiss her.

She pulled him down beside her, kissing him hungrily.

Raoul held her tightly, loving how solid she felt in his arms, how her weight pressed against him and how she shivered when he touched her just right.

The next morning they slept in, missing breakfast. They stayed in their room for most of the day, politely turning away visitors and having a servant bring their lunch. At dinner they decided to make an appearance and Kel and Raoul took their places beside Raoul's mother.

Raoul's mother was just about to start her questioning of Kel when a servant hurried to the high table.

"My lords and ladies," He bowed quickly, then turned to Raoul and Kel. "There's someone at the gates, says his name is Domitan of Masbolle and that you know him."

"Dom," Kel whispered. "Let him in before he freezes to death!"

"Yes, milday." the servant bowed again and hurried away.

"Domitan... isn't he one of your sergeants?" Raoul's mother asked.

"Yes."

"What do you suppose he wants?"

"I have no idea." Raoul got to his feet, a sinking feeling in his stomach. This did not bode well. Either there was some emergency that Raoul had to go take care of or... well, he couldn't really think of what else it would be. Though if that was the case he didn't see why they would send Dom instead of a messenger.

"I'll come with you." Kel had also stood.

"Excuse us," Raoul said and they hurried out of the room.

When they arrived at the main doors of the keep a dark figure was already there, shaking a heavy layer of snow off of himself.

"Dom?"

"Kel," Dom said, "How're you doing?"

"What are you doing here?" Kel asked.

"Just thought I'd drop by to say hello."

"Really, what are you doing here?"

Dom looked uneasily at Raoul, then back at Kel. "I had to apologise." He said quietly. "I acted... I acted badly. I needed to tell you I'm sorry."

"And you couldn't have written a letter?" Kel's eyes sparkled with amusement.

"I wanted to tell you in person." Dom shifted his weight. "So I have, now I guess I'll just be going."

"Don't be ridiculous." Kel said. "You can't go anywhere in this weather." She turned back to look at Raoul, who immediately plastered a fake smile on his face.

"Of course you'll have to stay." He said good-naturedly. "Why don't you join us for dinner and I'll have a servant find you a room."

Raoul led the way back to the great hall, fighting off unreasonable amounts of discontent. He should be happy that Kel and Dom were going to make up. Somehow, though, he just couldn't shake the feeling that Dom wanted more than to apologize.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

"And then Buri saw the ants and I swear, you've never seen so many men run away so fast." Dom Chuckled.

Kel laughed. "How could so much have happened? I've only been gone for a few weeks."

"There's not a lot else to do. Without my lord around to pester us we get up to all kinds of mischief." He shrugged, glancing over at Raoul, who hadn't said anything for the last ten minutes.

Raoul, doing his best not to glower pretended to be busy while Kel and Dom talked. Kel had gone and invited Dom back to their rooms before Raoul could stop her and he had the feeling that Dom wouldn't leave for a long, long time.

It had only been a couple of weeks for Mithros' sake! How much catching up could they possibly need?

Raoul tried to clear his mind of jealous thoughts. Not only was it pointless, but completely useless. There was no reason to feel the way he did about Dom. None at all.

"How about you? Have you been keeping busy?"

"I try." Kel said. "But there's not a lot to do here either."

"Why don't you come back to the palace?"

"What? In this weather?"

"Of course not!" Dom said. "But it'll blow over soon and then the travelling wouldn't be that bad."

"I can't." Kel fidgeted, glancing over at Raoul.

"You can go if you want." He frowned. "You don't have to stay here."

"I know. But I don't want to go back. Not yet."

"Why not?" Dom pressed. "No one even really knows what's happened, including your friends, I might add."

Kel opened her mouth to interrupt but Dom silenced her.

"Yes, they got the letters, but that doesn't explain anything. You're going to have to face them sometime."

"Oh, so you think I'm afraid to go back then?" Kel demanded.

"Well you certainly seem to be acting like it."

Kel stared at Dom for a moment, mouth agape. "Well excuse me if I want to spend some time with my _husband_ before leaping back into public scrutiny."

Silence rang loudly in the room for several moments.

"Kel, I..." Dom said quietly. "I'm sorry. Again. Gods, I'm making such and ass of myself." He shook his head, then looked at her intently. "I came to apologize and congratulate you. Of course you want to stay here and I have no right to question that."

Dom slowly got to his feet. "I guess I'm just used to having you around. I don't know what to do with myself these days."

"Dom..."

"It's all right," He said, exaggerating a yawn. "I'm tired anyway. I'll see you tomorrow morning- if you're not busy." Dom's hand brushed Kel's arm and then he was gone.

Kel stared at the closed door for a few moments before saying "What was that all about?"

"I have no idea." Raoul stood behind her, resting his hands on her waist. "But you can go back to the palace any time you like. I don't want you to feel trapped here."

"I already told you," She turned to look at him. "I don't want to go back. But you seem to."

"No, I don't." He said quickly. "I don't. But I want you to be happy."

"I know." She leaned against him, arms snaking around his neck. "You've given me everything. You've never asked for anything." She tipped her head back to look into his face. "What do you want, Raoul?"

"I..." What did he want? He wanted Dom to go away, or, if he had to stay, to talk to Kel when he wasn't around. "Peace, love, happiness." He nuzzled her hair. "I'm lucky. At the moment I have all three."

"That's all?" Kel's mouth quirked up.

"Well, I wouldn't mind being obscenely rich, but you can't have everything."

"No, you can't." Kel's arms tightened. "But there are a lot of things you can."

Raoul lowered his head, kissing her softly. She was right. He could spend his whole life wanting what he didn't have and ignoring what he did. Raoul firmly chased all thoughts out of his head except those of Kel. How he wanted- and had- her, how she felt in his arms, in his mouth.

Shifting her in his arms Raoul pressed Kel against the wall, sandwiching her. He could feel her every curve straining against him and he revelled in it. Taking her head in his hands he held her at just the right angle as he explored her mouth. She still tasted of the wine she had drunk with dinner. He hadn't tasted wine in so long but it paled in comparison to Kel. He gently stroked the top of her mouth with his tongue and she shuddered happily, untangling one hand from his hair to explore the rest of his body or- more specifically- the lacing of his shirt.

Her hand burned over his bare skin, leaving goose bumps in her wake.

Suddenly Kel broke away, took his arm and dragged him to bed.

Neither of them left until late the next morning.

"There you two are!" Dom bounded over as soon as he spotted Kel and Raoul entering the great hall. "Where've you two been? Actually, I probably really don't want to know."

"You're probably right." Raoul said, doing his best to sound cheerful.

Dom grinned. "Anyway, I was wondering if I could steal Kel away for a little while. If you want to, that is." He looked over at Kel.

"Of course. What did you have in mind?"

Dom shrugged. "I don't know." He took Kel's arm and they wandered off together. Just as they left the hall a peal of Kel's laughter rang through the air.

Why hadn't he been invited? Raoul took a seat at the high table and ate some cold food left over from breakfast. When he was done he tapped his fingers impatiently on the table top. The day stretched out in front of him and Raoul had no idea what to do with himself. In the end he decided to take a walk around the castle to see what, if anything, had changed while he was away. He took a meandering path, randomly choosing a direction.

First Raoul visited the kitchens, then the servant's quarters, then the library. He was just looking over some new books when he heard voices on the other side of the room. Though Raoul recognized the voices as belonging to Kel and Dom, he couldn't hear what they were saying.

Why did she always laugh so much with Dom? She rarely did around him.

Raoul quietly made his way to the door, catching a glimpse of Kel and Dom casually leaning against the shelves. Was it just him or was Dom's hand lingering a bit too long on Kel's arm?

No, he told himself. It was just him. Raoul wasn't sure when it had happened, but he had gone and become The Jealous Husband. How many times had he overheard women complaining about him? The Jealous Husband was what every man swore he would never become, though many fell into the trap.

Right then and there Raoul promised himself that he wouldn't slip any further into this trap. He loved and trusted Kel and that was the end of it. Dom would flirt with her- he did so with everyone. It didn't mean anything.

"Raoul!"

Raoul turned to find Dom trotting after him. "Yes?"

Dom caught up. "Kel's not the only one who deserves an apology."

Surprised, Raoul waited for Dom to go on.

"I'm sorry." Dom shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I said a lot of things that I shouldn't have. I have to admit that while we were pretending to court I even tried to win her over. Didn't work though."

Ha! Raoul knew he'd been right about that.

"Anyway, Kel forgave me for everything and I hoped you would too."

"Yes, I will. But don't even think about trying anything." Raoul menaced jokingly.

"Yessir." Dom saluted, grinning. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Go on now." Raoul clapped Dom on the shoulder, sending him on his way. With the air cleared Raoul felt surprisingly charitable towards Dom. Not everyone would own up to their mistakes like that. Raoul still wasn't too thrilled with the idea of Dom living under his roof, spending time with his wife, but at least now he knew he'd be able to let it go. When he saw the two of them hugging later that night he hardly felt jealous at all.

Well, to be absolutely honest he did, but he refused to acknowledge it. If he ignored it then eventually it would go away.

Maybe.

That night when Kel fell asleep in his arms Raoul held her tight, relishing the feeling. Dom never had this and never would.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **_Hello, everyone. I'm really sorry about this, but this might be it for a while. This summer I'm working at a summer camp and living in a Tepee so I won't have access to hot water, let alone the internet. I swear I will finish this thing when I get back, there's no way I'd leave you guys hanging. So please enjoy and I'll update whenever I get the chance, but it will be somewhat sporadic at best for the next two months. Please bear with me. Now on withthe story._

Chapter Ten

"See you later." Kel bent to kiss Raoul before she swept out of the room. The storm had ended and to celebrate Kel and Dom were going out for a ride. Good for them. Raoul would stay inside and do some very important... something. It didn't take long for Raoul to rediscover an inescapable fact: winter was boring.

Before he really realised what he was doing Raoul was outside, atop one of his horses and plowing through the quiet snow drifts. Everything was muffled in the special way that only happened after a heavy snow fall. Raoul rode through the grounds of Goldenlake, looking for familiar landmarks and finding ones he didn't remember. Had it really been so long since he had been home? At least the old pond was still there, completely frozen. A few children from the village were skating on its glossy surface and a youth was racing around the edge. When Raoul got closer he realized it was Dom.

Great, just as he had gotten the boisterous sergeant out of his head, here he was again. As he watched Kel tottered cautiously onto the ice. Raoul watched her appreciatively. She was competent, but not daring. Her innate grace showed in her movements; it was so subtle that one could easily miss it or mistake it for fear.

Dom came up behind her, apparently intent on surprising her but he tripped on a rough patch of ice and went sprawling headlong into Kel, taking her down with him and they both went hurtling into a snowbank on the edge of the ice.

Raoul turned around, not waiting to see more. Instead he circled Goldenlake once more before returning. It was getting dark, and with it came a bitter, cold wind. When he arrived back at the castle supper was just starting. He slid into his seat beside Kel, hurriedly shaking snow off of his cloak and draping it over the back of his chair.

"Where were you?" Kel asked quietly so she wouldn't catch the attention of Raoul's mother, who was engaged in an in depth debate with his father.

"I decided to go out for a ride as well."

"Oh?" She asked, picking up her fork and spearing a carrot. "Where did you go?"

"Everywhere." Raoul shrugged. "Things have changed since I was here last."

"Oh."

When Kel didn't speak for several minutes Raoul touched her waist and asked "Is there anything wrong?"

"What? No, of course not." A smile immediately plastered itself over her face. "Why would there be?"

"I don't know. You just went all quiet there for a second."

Shrugging, she said "I was just thinking. I didn't see you when you went out, but if you went everywhere you were bound to run into us."

"Where were you?"

"We- Dom and I- found this pond and he insisted on skating. We spend most of the afternoon there."

"Oh," Raoul waved his hand in what he hoped was a dismissive manner. "I went by there and I thought I saw you two, but I didn't want to interrupt."

"Thanks." Kel said, then took a mouthful of meat.

She didn't say much for the rest of the meal, or later that evening in their chambers.

When they had settled themselves in bed Raoul kissed Kel gently on the mouth and drew away, propping himself on his elbow. He could only just see her in the dim light cast by the embers in the fireplace. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?" Raoul rubbed her arm.

At first Kel didn't reply, but then slowly she began to speak. "When you went to the skating pond how much did you see?" She asked.

"Nothing, really. Dom was racing around and knocked you over."

"Then what?"

"Nothing." More confused than other Raoul tried to see her face, but it was too dark. "I left after that."

Kel sighed. "I... I'm glad you didn't stay."

"Why?"

"Because," Kel pulled away from Raoul, sitting up and holding the blankets tight against her chest. "He kissed me." She whispered, hanging her head. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know what he was doing and then I was so surprised, and by the time I came to my senses he had stopped..." She trailed off, looking as if she wanted to go on, but she didn't.

An oppressive silence fell over the room. Raoul opened his mouth several times, but nothing came out. Finally, swallowing dryly he asked, "Why did you have to tell me?"

"What?"

"Why," He repeated, "Did you have to tell me? You should never have told me. I could have gone on happily not knowing that, but now every time you're with him I'm going wonder."

"I'm sorry. I... I thought you'd want to know."

"Did you enjoy it?" He asked harshly.

"No! I yelled at him and told him never to do that again. I guess you didn't notice that he wasn't there at supper."

"Did he leave?"

"No. He just took it in the kitchen."

Raoul flopped against the pillows, glaring at the ceiling. He'd known Dom was up to no good. He'd ignored his instincts for fear of appearing jealous. Well, he was, and look what trying to hide it had done. He was going to kill Dom.

"Raoul?" Kel said quietly, cautiously. "Please say something."

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do," She turned, looking him straight in the eye.

"Say it," Raoul said, his voice harsh. "I need to hear you say it."

"I... I love you." She took his hand and Raoul closed his eyes, grimacing as if in pain.

There had been too long of a pause, too much hesitation. Damn, damn, damn! Why would she marry him, why would she say all those things if she didn't even want him anymore?

"Raoul, I do love you." This time she said it more firmly. "It will never happen again, ever. I swear. It should never have happened in the first place. Please," She begged laying down beside him. "Please forgive me."

"You know I would give you anything." Raoul said, sighing heavily. "Including forgiveness." He rolled over, his back to her.

Kel huddled against him, her arm around his waist. "I do love you." She whispered.

When Raoul awoke the next morning he found himself with his arm around Kel, her head resting on his shoulder.

Must be habit, he thought bitterly. He slowly pulled away, but something on her arm caught his attention. There was a small, pale bruise that he didn't remember being there before. He touched it gently, anger boiling inside of him. She'd probably gotten it when Dom knocked her over. How dare he hurt her! Raoul thought furiously to himself, ignoring the fact that he had given her hundreds of huge, painful bruises in the past.

Kel stirred and he pulled away. He didn't want to be there when she woke up.

For the first time since he had arrived at Goldenlake Raoul was early for breakfast. He was just settling down when Raoul saw Dom furtively sit in the back corner of the hall with a steaming bowl of porridge.

Before Raoul had time to even think about what he was doing he found himself standing in front of Dom.

"I didn't think you would be up yet." Dom said, setting his bowl aside. "How are you this morning?"

"Just splendid. May I talk to you outside?" Raoul demanded.

Dom warily got to his feet and followed Raoul out into a lesser-used hallway. "What's this about?"

"You know damn well what this is about." Raoul growled. "I'll give you five seconds to explain yourself."

"I'll be out of here in less than an hour." Dom said. "If it's all right with you I'd like to finish my breakfast first." He turned to leave before Raoul could say anything.

"If you even think about touching her again I'll see you in the jousting courts." Raoul warned. He wanted nothing more than the beat the living daylights out of Dom right then and there, but it wasn't honourable. Besides, Kel probably wouldn't appreciate it at all.

Dom paused at the end of the hallway. Though his voice was quiet it carried easily through the air. "She'll leave you eventually, you know. She's going to want someone her own age."

Honour or no, Dom was going down. Now. Raoul approached, slowly, deliberately, but when he had almost reached Dom Kel came around the corner.

Raoul saw her taking stock of the situation, her commander's mind deciding what to do next.

"I think you should leave." She told Dom, her voice cold.

He made his escape and Kel approached the fuming Raoul. She opened her mouth to speak, but a servant came rushing down the hallway.

"Lord Raoul, do you know where his Lordship is?" He asked hurriedly, referring to Raoul's father.

"I haven't seen him." Raoul struggled to regain his calm. "Why?"

"The storm, sir." The servant said. "Last night- didn't you hear the wind? It snowed again and most of the doors outside are jammed tight, but I managed to get out and the stable's collapsed."

"Check in his quarters. I'll be out in a second." Raoul grimly headed towards the door, his anger at Dom temporarily forgotten.

Kel hurried after him. "We should get cloaks," She said. "We don't want to freeze."

She was right, of course, so they hurried to their room, bundled up in record time and got back downstairs within minutes. The door outside from the kitchens was the only one that could be opened. People scurried in and out, fetching shovels.

Outside it was complete chaos. A few people worked to dig out the other doors while most were concerned with the stable. There were few sounds other than shouted orders, though when the wrecked stable shifted there were a few equine screams.

Raoul and Kel immediately threw themselves into the frenzy. Clearing snow off of the building, then carefully removing pieces of wood until there was a space large enough for a horse to come through.

As soon as the way was clear Peachblossom, his hindquarters smeared with blood, came thundering out. Behind him the horses struggled to get out of the narrow space. Hostlers darted in and out, avoiding flying hooves until all of the surviving horses were freed from the wreck. There were only eight in all, including Peachblossom. They all had injuries of some sort, but they were mostly just scratches and shallow surface cuts. Hoshi and Raoul's horses hadn't made it.

"You're so brave," Kel said quietly, stroking Peachblossom. "You helped keep all the horses still, didn't you?"

"Kel," Raoul said, tiredly. "We're not done yet. There might be some healthy horses still trapped in there."

"Be good," She told Peachblossom, leaving him with the rest of the horses who were under the watchful eye of a stable boy.

The remainder of the day was spent clearing away the wrecked stable and tearing down any walls that were still standing. Only one other horse was found alive, the rest had been crushed or so badly hurt they had to be killed.

At supper Raoul sat silently, completely numb. He was still enraged with Dom, but the horses had been a terrible loss. Drum had been a good horse, one of the best he'd had, and now he was dead because of a blasted storm. And, of course, Dom couldn't be expected to make the journey to Corus in this weather. His horse had probably been killed anyway.

Nobody said much that evening and when Raoul went to sleep it was with Kel in his arms. The events of the afternoon had shown him there were more important things in life than stolen kisses.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N-** Heya, everyone. I'm back from camp for a few days due to a concussion given to me courtesy of the horse I was trying to tack up. Anyway, I'm almost done this little ficcy cheers there're only a couple more chapters to go, so depending on how much ego-stroking I get I may be convinced to post the rest before I return :P Anyway, enjoy.

Chapter Eleven

Raoul kissed Kel, gently drawing her our of sleep. When her eyes opened they registered faint surprise, but she kissed him back warmly. Raoul combed his fingers through her hair, and grabbed a handful of it, holding her head still and forcing her to look him in the eye. "Who are you?" He asked quietly.

Kel stared at him in confusion for a moment before she answered. "Lady knight Keladry of Goldenlake."

Raoul released her hair and bent to kiss her, passionately, possessively. She was his and his alone, nobody would change that. When he freed her mouth she was gasping for breath, laying limply in his arms. But he wasn't done yet. Raoul's kisses burned over her flesh, his hands seared her skin.

She writhed against him, shaking and moaning his name until they both collapsed, exhausted and covered in a thin film of sweat.

When their breathing had returned to normal Raoul saw that Kel was crying. Silent tears streaked hotly down her cheeks and Raoul immediately felt ashamed. How could he have treated her like that?

"Kel, I'm sorry." He touched her cheek, brushing away her tears. "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine." She whipped her hand over her cheek and smoothed back her hair.

"No," Raoul said. "You're crying. You never cry."

"I told you I'm fine."

"Kel, if I hurt you, you have to tell me."

"You didn't!" She exclaimed. "I hurt you, and you still love me. That's what's wrong. I don't deserve this." Kel rolled onto her side, facing away from Raoul.

He gently brushed her hair away from her neck and kissed her soft, smooth skin. "I still love you." He said, wrapping his arms around her. "And you made a mistake. I understand that now."

Kel turned in his arms to face him.

"Really?"

"Really." Raoul kissed her again, gently this time. When he drew away she was smiling, albeit a little sadly.

Leaning forward she gave him a quick peck on the lips and nestled against him. After several minutes Raoul stirred.

"I need a bath." He said. "I'm all sweaty. You are too."

Kel sighed. "I don't want to get up." She complained.

"Stay here, then." Raoul rose, pulled on a robe and went to find a servant and order a bath. He knew he'd have to deal with the rebuilding of the stable and purchase of new horses eventually, but Raoul would put it off for an hour or two more.

When the tub was full he retrieved Kel from the bed, carrying her to the bath.

"I can walk." She protested.

"You can," Raoul answered, lowering her carefully into the tub and climbing in himself. "But you said you said you didn't want to get up." Raoul grabbed the soap and took hold of one of Kel's arms, working her way from her fingertips to her shoulder.

"What's this?" He frowned, touching new bruises. "Did... did I give you those?"

"You've given me worse." Kel said. "Don't worry about it, it doesn't hurt. I didn't even know they were there."

Raoul's eyes travelled down her body, finding more bruises on her other shoulder and her hips.

"Don't worry," She said firmly, taking the soap and lathering it over his chest. "I'm fine."

Raoul sighed, leaning against the back of the tub and allowing Kel to give him a thorough scrub.

"So, what are you going to do about the horses?" She asked when they had dried off and were getting dressed.

"I'll ask Mother and Father, but they'll probably want me to go looking for new horses to buy in the spring."

"Now? But the snow..."

"Shh." He silenced her with a kiss. "I don't know what they'll want. That's why I'm going to go find them and ask. I'll be back soon." He promised before leaving the room.

Raoul walked quickly to his parent's room. His mother was there, his father was not.

"Where's Father?" He asked.

"Out helping with the stable." She sighed. "I suppose you want to know what you should do."

"Yes."

"When the weather clears enough for you to get out I'd like it if you went and scouted out new horses." She said. "With so few... we need to get more before spring."

"I thought as much." Raoul nodded.

"I hate to ask you, when you and Keladry are just getting settled, but it needs to be done."

"It's all right, Mother, I understand. It will be days before I can even think about leaving anyway."

"Good. I'll tell your father when he gets back."

Raoul nodded and headed back to his room with a heavy heart. He didn't want to leave Kel, but he wouldn't dream of asking her to come with him. It would be miserable enough riding around the frozen countryside without dragging her into it. He wouldn't even get his own horse, either. He'd have to borrow one.

When Raoul returned to his room he found it empty. Of course she wouldn't sit there by herself doing nothing. She probably went to the great hall. Raoul's rumbling stomach reminded him that he hadn't eaten yet that day so he went that way himself.

As he had guessed Kel was there, sitting at a table near the kitchen door chatting with a cook.

"Hello," Raoul sat beside Kel, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Hello." She said, then looked up as the cook excused herself. "You don't have to go."

"His lordship will be wanting food, no doubt." The young woman said. "'Sides, I've got work to do." She disappeared into the kitchen, returning only briefly to hand Raoul a bowl of porridge.

"So when will you be leaving?" Kel asked, prodding the remains of her breakfast.

"Not until the snow clears. There's no way anyone can travel in this weather." Though neither of them mentioned Dom, they were both thinking that he would be trapped here, unable to leave until the weather changed for the better. Raoul didn't much like that idea, but he could hardly kick Dom out.

When Raoul finished his breakfast he headed outside to see if there was anything left to be done about the stable. He found that it had been completely torn down, the wood from the structure stacked neatly. The bodies of the dead horses had been taken away and burned. There was nothing left to do until the roads cleared.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Raoul asked Kel, who was standing just behind him.

She shrugged. "What is there to do?"

"Not a whole lot." Raoul admitted. "But it's cold, so whatever it is we decide to do I hope we do it inside."

Kel agreed and they returned to the relative warmth of the indoors. Despite the fire places and braziers that were sprinkled around the entire castle it was still cold and drafty inside. Raoul and Kel found themselves holed up in their room, sitting on the floor in front of the hearth in a nest of blankets. There wasn't much to do besides cuddle.

The days passed, slowly but not dully, until the roads began to clear. Raoul had only seen Dom a handful of times but always at a distance, and never anywhere near Kel. Raoul was somewhat impressed with Dom's sneakiness, Raoul doubted he could go unnoticed for so long in another's home.

"Kel?" Raoul asked one lazy morning.

"Mmm?"

"I checked the road last night and it's cleared up enough for a determined traveller."

"Oh," She sighed, sitting up. "How... how long will you be gone for?"

"I don't know." He stroked her back. "Probably a week or two at least."

Raoul saw that she struggled to keep the disappointment from her face.

He hugged her tight and kissed her forehead. They sat silently for a moment, before Kel drew away.

"I'm coming with you."

"No," Raoul shook his head. "It will be completely miserable. I don't want you stomping around out there if you don't have to."

"But I can't just stay here and wait!"

"Why not?"

"Because," She said. "That's not who I am. If you leave me behind now, who's to say you won't try to do the same next time we're called into battle? You can't try to protect me all the time."

"And I won't." Raoul said, realizing for the first time that she would, indeed, be called away and he wouldn't be able to stop her. He hated the idea, but he knew he would let her go because it was her duty. This was not. "I wouldn't ever keep you from your orders, but this doesn't really have anything to do with you."

"It does! Your home is mine too now, in case you've forgotten."

"I know." Raoul massaged his temples. "But Kel, think. If you come we'll be riding around for days in the cold, and I don't think any of the horses will truly be able to handle it- the ones that are left are hardly more than riding ponies. The horses will be tired, we'd be tired, and another storm could blow up at any time."

"You're right." She said quietly. "The horses won't be up to it. Except Peachblossom. You'll have to take him."

"What? He won't let me anywhere near him."

"He might if I asked." She said determinedly. "Look, if you don't take him I'm coming with you."

"Fine." Raoul sighed. "I'm sorry about Hoshi, by the way. I didn't know the stable would..."

"None of us did." Kel said sympathetically. "She was a good horse. So were yours."

Raoul smiled sadly. "They were, that. Let's go have a chat with Peachblossom, then."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

When Raoul stepped inside the walls of Goldenlake he thought he would cry in relief. The trip had been Hell on earth. First he had slogged his way through feet of snow atop the bad tempered Peachblossom, then every time he bought a horse he had to put it on a lead rein and keep it with him as he made the circuit to nearby fiefs. The whole excursion had taken three weeks. At least in that time the people of Goldenlake had managed to at least partially rebuild the stable. They had new horses, and the horses had somewhere to stay, and now he wanted nothing more than a hot bath and Kel.

Raoul found a servant and bid them to draw a bath for him and Raoul continued on his way to his rooms. When he got there they were empty. Oh well, Raoul thought. He'd have to find Kel later. When his bath was ready he sunk into the tub, his cold skin thawing out for the first time in days.

Invigorated by his bath Raoul set out to find Kel. She wasn't in the great hall or the kitchen, so Raoul wandered the castle, hoping to spot her. When he heard Kel's voice drifting down the corridor he hurried in her direction, but slid to a sudden halt when Dom answered her. Hiding just around the corner Raoul listened.

"You can't fight it, you know."

"Yes, I can." She said stubbornly.

"No," There was a muffled gasp and a brief silence. "You can't."

"Dom, please stop it." Her voice was shaky.

Raoul slid to the ground, holding his head in his hands. He didn't believe what he was hearing- couldn't believe it. "It's a misunderstanding." He told himself over and over again. If he repeated it to himself enough times then maybe it would be true. "A misunderstanding. A misunderstanding."

"He isn't right for you, he never was. Remember what he did to you that one night? All those bruises? He raped you, Kel."

"No. He didn't mean to."

"He did. He was punishing you for kissing me."

"_You _kissed _me._"

"But you enjoyed it. Didn't you like being treated like a woman for once instead of a whore?"

"He doesn't..."

Raoul couldn't stand it anymore. He ran away, first to the cellar to get a bottle of brandy and then to his room. Hands shaking in rage he poured himself a glass and fired it down. How dare he touch her, how dare he say those things to her.

He's right, you know, part of Raoul's mind told him. You don't always treat Kel the way you should. She was standing there, defending him from Dom's flying accusations even though they had the bite of truth. Raoul poured himself another glass, but instead of drinking it he stared into the dark liquid. Getting drunk wouldn't help. It might make the pain go away temporarily, but later it would come back along with a massive hangover. Besides, who's to say what he would do to Dom, or even Kel, if he were intoxicated.

Raoul slammed the glass down on the table, spilling it. He didn't notice. Instead he paced back and forth across his room, trying to figure out what to do. Kel obviously preferred being with Dom and there was nothing he could do about that. He should never have left, but it had been unavoidable. The new horses had to come from somewhere. Raoul wished he could hurt Dom, but that would make Kel hate him even more.

Slowing to a halt Raoul swore that he would treat Kel better than before. He wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't accuse her. He would be the perfect husband, better than Dom, and she would come back on her own. That was the only way he could think of to get her back. Anything else he came up with would only drive her away.

With that resolved he downed the rest of the half empty glass and returned the brandy to the cellar. When he got back to his room Kel was there. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest, but he struggled to act like nothing had happened, like he knew nothing.

"Hi, Kel," He sat beside her on the edge of the bed, giving her a hug and a kiss.

"You're back!" She seemed genuinely happy to see him and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. "I missed you."

Raoul stroked her back, feeling her familiar weight in his arms. "I missed you too." He kissed her again, gently, tenderly, while his hands massaged her back, kneading out the knots and tension. She relaxed against him, sighing in contentment. Had Dom held her like this? Had Dom tasted her lips and touched her body? Raoul struggled to chase the thoughts from his head. It didn't matter now, all that mattered was Kel, and winning her back. He shouldn't have left her alone for so long in the first place, this whole situation was partially his fault and he could hardly blame Kel for being lonely.

"You got the horses?" She finally asked.

"Yes. And nothing is going to pry me out of here again until I'm good and ready. How did you hold up?"

"Fine." Kel shrugged. "Your mother made sure I had plenty to do. Oh, did Peachblossom behave for you?"

"Just barely." Raoul smiled ruefully. "I am never riding that monster again."

Kel chuckled. "Did you find yourself a new warhorse?"

Raoul shook his head. "No. I'll probably buy one from Cavall in the spring." He nuzzled Kel. Enough talk, he thought. He kissed her slowly, thoroughly, lowering her onto her back. Moving away from her mouth Raoul trailed kisses down her throat to her collarbone, where he nosed at her shirt.

"No," Kel pulled away and Raoul sat back in surprise. "I mean, um, not today."

"Oh," Raoul said, squashing his misgivings. "Sorry. Are you all right?"

Kel nodded. "Yes, I just... not now."

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Raoul asked quietly, frowning in concern. It wasn't like her to flat out refuse, without even an explanation.

"No." She said softly, face yamani smooth.

Raoul was positive she was lying, but he didn't press her. Instead he got up, found a book and lounged in a chair, pretending to read. He heard Kel rustling around behind him and he knew she was preparing for bed. It was getting late and he hadn't had supper yet. Raoul left without a word and ate his late meal in the kitchen.

When he returned Kel was asleep. He slipped into bed beside her, putting his arm around her, hand resting on her belly. It suddenly occurred to him that she might be having her monthly bleeding. He counted up the weeks that they had been together and realized that she hadn't had one yet, so it was about time for it. No wonder she hadn't wanted to explain. Wait. He counted the weeks again. They had been together for longer than a month, surely? Maybe she was pregnant, which would also explain her peculiar mood. She always wore an anti-pregnancy charm, but occasionally they would fail to work.

Should he ask her about it? Raoul decided against it. If he were wrong he didn't want her to think he wanted children. He did, of course, but he could wait until she wanted to as well.

With that settled Raoul closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Raoul awoke the next morning to find Kel, already dressed, poking the fire to life. He got up, wincing as his bare feet his the cold floor, and hugged Kel from behind. "Up already?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?"

She shrugged unhelpfully and pulled away, turning to give Raoul a quick, impersonal peck. "I'm getting breakfast."

"Wait, I'll come with you."

"It's all right," She said, "The room's just heating up. Stay here, I'll just bring something back for us." Kel left before Raoul could protest.

She returned quickly and they ate quietly, sharing occasional words about the stable and what had passed since Raoul left. When Raoul tried to kiss Kel she brushed him off, saying she had to return the dishes to the kitchen.

After she left Raoul sat dejectedly on his bed, then halfheartedly started to straighten the sheets. Then, curious to see if he could find out any clues about Kel he tugged away the covers, studying the sheets. There were no traces of blood. Flicking the blankets back over the bed Raoul leaned back against the pillows. Was she pregnant? He knew women could get crazy when they were, even in the early stages. He would just have to start paying more attention in the future.

Kel returned, and peeling off her boots joined Raoul in bed. He took her hand, lacing their fingers together and kissing the back of her hand.

"Raoul, I..."

He turned to look at her.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"What?"

"It wasn't important." She rolled onto her side, drawing close to Raoul. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. She would tell him what was on her mind eventually.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

Raoul and Kel were in the middle of a game of chess when someone knocked on the door. Immediately Raoul got up to answer it.

"A visitor is here, milord." The servant said. "He says my lady summoned him."

Raoul glanced back inside at Kel, who was slowly getting to her feet. "Send him here." She said, coming to the door.

"Yes, milady." The servant said and hurried away.

Frowning, Raoul turned to look at Kel. "Who did you summon?"

"Neal." Kel said, sitting down again.

"Oh," Raoul said. "Why?"

"I need to ask him something."

Raoul sighed, allowing her to keep her secrets. Maybe with Neal here she would go back to her normal self. He was her best friend, after all, although if the servants gossip was any indication she was still spending a lot of time with Dom. Raoul wasn't completely sure why he was still there. If he asked Raoul would happily lend him a horse- it would be a small price to pay to get him out of Goldenlake.

Within minutes Neal, cloak speckled with snow, came into Raoul and Kel's room.

"Kel!"

"Neal!" She got quickly to her feet and hugged Neal. "How have you been?"

"Splendid. The question is how are you, and what was so urgent that I had to leave my wife- my pregnant wife, I might add- to rush over?"

Kel looked uncertainly at Raoul, and he looked right back at her. He was just as curious as Neal.

"I'll tell you in a minute. You must be hungry, though. Come on."

"Kel," Neal stood his ground, despite the fact that she was tugging insistently on his arm. "I'm not even the faintest bit hungry. So if you wouldn't mind..."

She looked from Neal to Raoul before finally saying, "I think I'm pregnant."

Neal frowned. "Then why call me? There must be a midwife here."

"There is." Raoul said.

Kel shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Raoul, I need a moment alone with him. Please?"

With a heavy sigh Raoul nodded. "Go ahead."

"Thank you."

Raoul got to his feet and left the room to wander aimlessly around Goldenlake castle. He had never been so tempted in his life to eavesdrop, but he restrained himself. If Kel caught him bad, bad things would be sure to happen. Raoul took a few steps away from his room, then stopped, standing in the hallway uselessly.

"You WHAT?" The silence was broken by Neal's shouting. "How could you... How could he... Did you tell him?"

Kel's quiet, unintelligible voice spoke quickly to Neal and he quieted down, also speaking quietly.

Raoul decided that he should never, ever eavesdrop again. He always heard things that he really, really didn't want to. Before he could leave Neal burst into the hallway. "You, in, now." He motioned wildly inside. Raoul followed silently.

Kel was slumped in one of the chairs by the fire and Raoul took the other one while Neal paced back and forth. No one said anything for several seconds, until Raoul finally took the initiative. "Is there anything wrong?" He asked Kel.

She looked like she wasn't going to answer, but Neal glared at her until she started talking. "I... I'm pregnant. But..." She trailed off, staring at her lap, unconscious picking at the armrest of her chair. "I've been sleeping with Dom and I don't know who the father is." She finished in a rush. "I'm sorry."

Sorry? Sorry! That's all she had to say? Raoul buried his head in his hands and tried to make sense of it. He'd known there was something going on between the two of them, but he had thought it was just kisses, he'd thought it had already ended.

The room was quiet, only the crackling of the fire and Neal's soft footfalls as he left the room broke the silence.

"That's why I called Neal." Kel said, sighing, obviously resigned to telling the whole story. "I thought he could help me, and I trusted him not to tell. I should have known he would have made me. But he couldn't help. And now you know."

"How could you?"

"I don't know." She was crying, he could hear her. Part of him still wanted to comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be all right. Raoul couldn't believe he still wanted to protect her after all this.

"Was I not enough for you? Was I a bad husband? Tell me, what did I do wrong?"

"You left me alone with Dom!" She shouted. "You left, and you left me and I..." She whipped her eyes with her sleeve, then shoved it up past her elbow, pushing up the other one to match.

"What's that?" Raoul snatched her hand before she could pull away. Bruises, like fingerprints, speckled both of her arms. Without a word Raoul took off Kel's shirt and tunic to find her skin molted with old and new bruises. "Kel, what happened?"

"I..." She was shaking, shaking so hard. Her lips quivered and tears leaked out of her eyes. "He said you didn't love me, that you would hate me and think I was weak if I told you. I thought I could handle it, but when you left... I had no one to turn to. It was just... I didn't want to fight him anymore. He's right, I am weak."

"Did Dom do this to you?"

She nodded mutely.

"And what about Neal? Did he know?"

"No," Kel shook her head. "He didn't bother examining me because he knew there wasn't anything he could do to help me with the baby."

"How long has this been going on for?" Raoul asked, his voice calm. Too calm.

"I don't know." She shook her head. "A long time. Too long. He didn't really do much until you left."

"I'm sorry." Raoul stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't worry." He said. "I'll be back soon."

"Are you going to..."

"Kill Dom? Maybe. We'll see what he has to say for himself first." Raoul strode out of the room and started a search of Goldenlake castle. How could he not have noticed? He kept remembering things, little bits and pieces that had never totally made sense, like the little bruises he often found on Kel's arms, or Dom's unreasonable jealousy. At the time he had brushed them off, thinking he was paranoid.

Where would Dom be? Raoul had already checked the great hall, now he headed for Dom's rooms. When he got there he burst inside without knocking, startling a maid in the middle of tidying. "Where is he?" He roared.

"Y'mean Dom?" She maid asked nervously, backing away and holding a bundle of sheets against her chest.

Raoul nodded curtly.

"He left, milord, a little bit after that other gentleman came."

Blast. He must have known Neal would find out the truth. Raoul left and hurried to the new stables to see which horses were missing, but none of his were. Dom's horse must have survived the accident after all.

"Are you going after him?"

Raoul turned to see Neal standing in the shadows.

"Yes."

"What about Kel?" Neal said. "I healed her, but she's still a mess. You can't leave her again."

"What am I suppose to do?" Raoul demanded. "I can't just let him go!"

"I'll go after him." Neal said simply. "Or rather, I'll go home and alert the King's guard. He won't get away with this."

Raoul slumped against the stable wall. Neal was right, he couldn't just go and abandon Kel like that. "How did he do it?" Raoul asked, listlessly. "How could she let someone do that to her?"

Neal shook his head. "I have no idea. But even the strongest women can be broken. You've seen it before, we all have." Raoul nodded, remembering Onua's ordeal. "He... he probably seduced her, blackmailed her, who knows, and when he started hurting her she didn't want to tell because she had been cheating on you."

"Oh, Gods." Raoul cursed. "This is all my fault. She told me- she told me and I said she shouldn't have. She didn't tell me because I told her not to."

Neal was silent for a moment. "Go to her." He said. "She needs you."

Raoul nodded and swallowed hard. Neal was right, he couldn't abandon Kel now, couldn't abandon her again. Dom would pay, but it would have to wait.

He turned and went back into the castle. Kel needed him, and for once he would be there for her.

THE END

Whew I never expected it to turn out so long. Well, I hope you enjoyed it, and no, I don't think I'll be writing a sequel. I do, however, have a few plot bunnies, so you never know, I might actually write another fanfic one of these days. Thanksto all of my beautiful reviewers! Showers reviewers in chocolate


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